He's Basically Useless

 

Trump posted the above impotent whinge on his dreadful Truth Social account, and I suppose someone may have let Putin know about it and if they did, I am sure of one thing. 

Putin would have laughed his ass off.  It's pathetic. It reeks of frustration:

The exchange shined a light on a rising sense of exasperation among the president and his advisers at his inability to mount a successful pressure campaign against Putin to end the war. Trump bristled at a reporter’s suggestion that he had not applied pressure to the Russian leader.

“You don’t know what pressure I’m putting on Russia,” Trump snapped. “We’re putting a lot of pressure on Russia, and Russia knows that.”

Trump then argued that “it takes two to tango, and you have to have Ukraine want to make a deal, too.”

Moscow, he said, has already made a substantial concession by not “taking the whole country.”

“Stopping the war,” he said, is a “pretty big concession.”

Part of Trump's frustration may well be not knowing exactly what a "concession" is. It's possible he only recently abandoned that idea that it meant someone was selling hot dogs and sodas during the negotiations. When Trump says "You don't know what pressure I'm putting on Russia," though, I believe that part--it's just that Russia doesn't seem to be aware of it either. That's why THIS IS NOT WORKING.

So, This Happened Yesterday

 

Trump who gets invited to the BEST FUNERALS, showed kids at the White House Easter Egg Hunt his post-assassination attempt collector's card while the stock market was tanking.

That's it. That's the picture. That sentence is the whole blog post. I've been doing this a minute and how do you even add to that? 

"Hey kids, do you know who ELSE was almost killed and rose again? Your favorite president, who got so many eggs you can't even find them all." 

He's Still Crazy, Though

 

The market performed extremely well after Trump announced by way of social media that things would be somewhat less stupid, but make no mistake, they are still fairly stupid. We still have the potential for a recession. We still have a trade war with China, and 10% reciprocal tariffs, and it's a 90-day pause, not an admission that the whole tariff scheme is stupid, and we might not even be in for 90 days of an actual pause since Trump is, in fact. nuts. 

Basically, Trump reacted to the reaction. He admitted himself that the pause was because people were "yippy." Are we looking at a case of masterful strategery on his part?  Let's just say it caught some advisers by surprise (mid-defense of Trump's policy, no less), but we're pretty sure not everyone.

I'm not sure too many people would be shocked to find there has been gambling in this establishment. 

The Future's So Dark, I Gotta Wear Shades

 

Look, I have to retire some time, eventually, and I'm in my 50's, so I'm not grave-dancing over here about what tomorrow is going to bring. The whole election, despite what people were saying about Trump being a felon and a sex-pest and a danger to democracy had also an undercurrent of "This is a whole damn pudding-brained sociopath who will set the country on fire for giggles," but you what? Bygones. Let's just say some people out there chalked all of that up to Trump Derangement Syndrome and didn't want to believe the motherfucker was crazy.

But here's the SOB now:

Trump: "I spoke to a lot of leaders -- European, Asian, from all over the world. They are dying to make a deal, but I said 'we're not gonna have deficits with your country' ... to me a deficit is a loss. We're gonna have surpluses or at worst we're gonna be breaking even." pic.twitter.com/xnW7jb0u3R

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) April 6, 2025

Is everyone starting to get it? 

The financial deficits he's talking about is just a trade deficit.  We have a trade deficit with Madagascar. They sell basically vanilla. We have bakeries and ice cream factories and whatnot. They have people who are too poor to buy US goods. That's a trade deficit. Botswana sells diamonds. Same deal--we have jewelers and people buy engagement rings and so forth. They don't have the kind of incomes to be buying a lot of US goods. 

It just is what it is. Not everyone is going to be giving us a trade surplus--to think it can be so is just crazy and what you get when you don't know geography, or how anything but particularly trade works--you trade for shit you can't make or get easily. If I'm a pumpkin farmer, I don't want someone else's pumpkins--I want something I don't have. How is this hard to get? 

TWGB: He Does What He Wants

 

People can point to things like Trump bailing on the dignified transfer of four deceased troops for a weekend of golfing as sign that Trump doesn't care, but I think that would be missing the point with Trump's admirers: if Trump doesn't care, they don't. The screencap above is from Fox News, where Jesse Watters is extolling who Trump is." He doesn't give a fuck."

Trump, with respects to tariffs, is described as being at the "peak of not giving a fuck."  That's actually coming from the White House. Also from the White House, this self-congratulation:

It was a good thing you did, Donny, wishing the economy into a cornfield. 

But is not giving a fuck what you actually want from the leader of your country? Like, if old Darcy down at the diner stops giving a fuck and pours coffee in someone's lap, she's liable to get fired. If Sean at the SuperMart goes off and rams a row of carts into someone's 4X4, he's out. And here's Donny, hero of the guys who always wanted to say "Take this job and shove it!" who ends a busy week fucking with the world economy with doing whatever he feels like. 

We're Sticking it to Those Penguins, Though

 

The funny/not funny thing about Trump's "reciprocal tariffs" is the way the White House apparently just willy-nilly came up with a plan to suit the ill-informed whims of a mentally ill man who doesn't know what he's doing.  The places being tariffed are internet domains, the alleged tariffs the location have on us is somewhat fictitious, and the formula for levying a "reciprocal" tariff is a bit of slap-dash treating a trade deficit like a tariff and, hoo boy. 

This is "nuking the hurricane" territory.  His sycophants are arguing, "Well, we have to trust him! He's Mr. Art of the Deal, right?"

(Um. No, he isn't. He's a glorified failure who cheats.)

Anyway, at least we are sticking it to those very duplicitous thieving Heard Island penguins, whose exports include, per their trades minister, Binky: "bit of extra fish", "shiny pebble" and "piles of poo for some reason, you weirdos." 

Isn't that a kind of grim satisfaction in the teeth of losing a healthy economy?

Why Elon Musk Gets Picked On

 

Huh. Where to start?

Musk alleges that another billionaire is handing out checks so that people will protest his and boycott his businesses. Because when you and your little DOGE gremlins are cutting aid to starving kids, Meals on Wheels, costing thousands of people their livelihoods and prancing about with a little chainsaw because BRRRR CUTTING GOOD!, people need a monetary reason to make them mad--right?

This is the kind of bullshit you get when your mama tells you the reason the other kids are picking on you is because they are just so jealous because they are dumb poors and not as bright and handsome as mommy's little man. 

Maybe I Have This Twisted

 

Last night, I had the stupidity to forget how kiss-up, punch-down hierarchies work because I have never actually lived in a fully corrupted banana republic before. My dumb ass posted: 

And DOGE undermining the social safety net and intimating that Medicare and Social Security need big cuts is actually very bad? 

Because of course that is--but his antipathy to democracy at all is also really bad. 

I think it gets worse from here for Musk.. And I think I like it that way. As he starts to sink and stink, Trump will cut ties, because that's how he rolls. 

Except that was dumb, because if Trump truly believes he is post-"elections matter", well, he no longer has to care about whether people hate Elon. He just has to protect the guy who can easily dump $100M into his PAC (slush fund). 

Joe Six-Pack with the retirement fund and a MAGA hat isn't his main concern. Elon SuperPAC donor is.

Ergo, he turned the front of the White House into a sales lot for Tesla and cut a promo. They are cutting the Board of Education, Veteran's medical access, Social Security functionality as a whole thing, IRS (the revenue-finders!) and so on, but the White House had to help rescue one stock today.

The DOW lost many points. Tesla had a little unreality rally. Also, too, Trump declared folks vandalizing Tesla dealerships were "domestic terrorists."  

Let me get this straight. Pardon the idjits who attacked the Capitol with great violence on 1/6/2021 but the people protesting Tesla are the real villains against the US? 

Things Are Going to Slide

 

Giggleheaded Goofus, Elon Musk, has not had a brilliant day. His Tesla stock did a really big slide. His Twitter acquisition, which he wants us to call "X", was shut down a lot because of an apparent DDOS attack. Musk wanted to allege that the IP addresses of the attack were from the "Ukraine area" and this is when, not for the first time, I understood Musk is a dumbass. Because really? Are the haxxors using their IP address and not masking with a VPN or whatever? And wouldn't it be wild if the haxxors were from the exact place kind of depending on Starlink to work, and are kind of mad at Elon, but not suicide-mad yet?

And how isn't the Ukraine area also possibly Russian invaders? Since Russia has competent cyberwarfare capabilities, not that our Department of Justice under Pam Bondi is fixing to bother with it. 

Would it just be a stitch if Russia decided to attack TrumpWorld just when they decided for the worst of all possible reasons it was time to make nicey-nice? 

Anyway, Teslas and their dealerships are being protested and vandalized. 

Almost as if that brand was the clearest signifier of Musk himself, and attacking it was the clearest way to attack him. And it could and probably is organic--even if Elon wants to insist on the idea of astroturfing. ActBlue--blah blah blah. George Soros, more blah blah blah. Musk isn't funny or original. 

Yes, Donald, He Is Disrespecting You

 

Reporter: Do you believe Putin is disrespecting you by attacking Ukraine?

Trump: What did he do? Is he disrespecting me? Who are you with? pic.twitter.com/4tAwEQlRec

— Acyn (@Acyn) March 10, 2025

Desperate weak boychild Trump doesn't get it--Putin isn't his bestie. That's part of what made him so mad when President Zelenskyy quite correctly pointed out that Putin had violated ceasefires before. Trump was MAD, I tell you! Because who would dare to question the rilly rilly tight bestie relationship Trump had with the guy who very obviously did not support an entire bot/disinfo network to make him president as if he was a total fucking patsy who could be easily manipulated into rolling over for Russia by financial or conspiracy theory means? Putin thought he was a useful tool-a puppet? As if!

Trump has complained a few times lately that Putin went through the Mueller investigation (the "Russia, Russia, Russia hoax") and maybe is also pretty sure the first impeachment impacted on Putin as well. 

Was he on the phone with his bestie? Did Putin comfort him and tell him they were in it together? 

Because whatever Trump was going through, Putin was safe in Moscow laughing his ass off that the US was having some chaos. No way, no how, was Putin BOTHERED in any way about what happened to Trump. 

Ask Not for Whom the MAGA Bell Tolls

 

When Catturd et als on the Twitter are planning for Speaker Moses to step down or get stepped on, I guess I'm going to be pretty basic to the Asics about it--THE GURLS ARE FIIIIIIYYYIIYIIYITINGGGGG!!!! I am so glad I did my nails for this. Park me in the front row, let me see! I got my fan in my bag because this church is heated. God is GOAT and prayers are heeded. 

But no, actually this is really bad. Somehow, we have stupid little children at the wheel of the shortbus that is GOP-led Congress, because there is no adult running the show or at the wheel. Musk encouraging maximum returns to wealthy shareholders and fucking up plans for actually doing good things for people like funding cancer research and all that IS this administration's actual ethos. Trump the King, and his Regent, Elon, chose this kind of legislative ain;t shitness. Musk lies and tries to manipulate the process because he is a dumbass. This is real work that shouldn't be SPUN.

And they think somehow, some way, Democrats are supposed to get in line and save their pretend-mandate asses to preserve the economy, so Trump gets into office under ideal conditions that he absolutely did not create?

Huh!

Have you seen what happened to the stock market since Trump rang his little bell:

Oh, Canada. I'm Sorry.

 

Canada fought alongside the U.S. in World War Two, the Korean War and in Afghanistan post-9/11. In Afghanistan, they did some of the hardest, frontline duty of any U.S. ally and suffered more than 150 killed in action. The antagonizing of a neighbor and longtime treaty partner… https://t.co/zKefr2LI74

— Jim Sciutto (@jimsciutto) December 17, 2024

I mean, I didn't vote for the guy, but while I tried to caution against it, somehow we still got him and he's a stupid, insulting, know-nothing brat who doesn't understand the value of our close relationship. He's a fucking obvious rude ugly American jackass, and we should really be better than this. You all have given so much. Michael J. Fox. John Candy, rest his soul. And pretty much the best bits of SCTV and all of Kids in the Hall! And letting our film crews sometimes pretend Vancouver is part of the US, which, let's face it, we wish!

Dan Ackroyd, basically an international treasure. I'm pretty sure the trend of pairing maple things with bacon things would not exist without Canada, that's for sure. The science teacher who runs the Bunsen, Beaker and Bernoulli account on Twitter. And of course, you know, our shared vision of democracy and the wars we've generally fought together. We've been through a lot like some kind of Corsican twins where one is a dissolute nationalist jagoff and the other is, you know, Canada, and frankly, "Murdoch Mysteries" is better than a lot of our shows here because we just don't "do" historical, because US Americans don't read. So, most of us only know Anne of Green Gables through your tv productions. 

I forgot where exactly I was going with this, but I support Chrystia Freeland over my imaginary Canadian boyfriend if one of the things she wants to do is make Trump eat fresh financial hell. and try to roll him because I suspect my country won't suffer--Trump's ego will. 

And he'll make a "brilliant deal" to eat it.  You stand firm for yourselves, and I don't think you'll actually be in the wrong. 

As Red Green said, "We're all in this together." 

How is Vance Worse at Groceries Than Dr. Oz?

 

JD Vance: “Yes, buddy. Want some eggs? Let's talk about eggs. Because these guys [pointing to his kids] actually eat about 14 eggs every single morning."

So weird pic.twitter.com/hHc4BP23Qs

— Republicans against Trump (@RpsAgainstTrump) September 22, 2024

He doesn't trust his kid to act normal in public. He accuses his kids of eating 14 eggs every morning. He is clearly not in a supermarket, but like a bodega. He holds up a two-dozen pack of eggs while talking about the price of a dozen eggs and gets it wrong by a dollar.  Because the signage says so. 

There used to be a phrase about the "natural aristocrat". People who just rose to the top because in a meritocratic society, their little light would shine. 

I do not believe Senator Vance represents this thought. He's actually a pathologically lying dickhead. He will look dead ass into the face of the facts and lie about shit anyway even if you see the proof right behind him. 

Just like he's still lying about the dogs and cats in Springfield even when Schoedinger's snack was found alive and well in a basement. Let's not talk too much about this chicken and egg him on, but seriously, were we supposed to not notice?

Of course we weren't, but he thinks most people are dumber than him because look where he is now!! 

Can't wait to find out what Peter Theil has next in store for him. Maybe even cashier. 

Coleoptera

Minus the Southern patois that sounds like Senator John Kennedy as rendered by bad AI, Donald Trump talking about groceries sounds like Jerry Lewis talking about "coleoptera" at about 2 minutes in. 

Just so we are clear, Trump thinks no one can afford bacon and we need to show ID at the grocery store to buy anything.  But long story short, if we made more gas and had less windmills and had huge tariffs on food not made here, you could probably buy a banana for ten dollars. Isn't that what a banana should cost? 

Now, I totally understand how windmills are killing the pork industry because that is exactly what you would expect--when pigs fly. Somewhere in Trump's mind, he's got it imbedded that if the costs for goods in the US market were higher because of tariffs, they (I think, China) would have to produce at a lower cost, which means they deregulate (snerk), and try to whoop up more "productivity" at lower costs from their workers. 

TWGB: The Bedminster Bore

 

Not that long ago, I watched some right-wing commentator on Bill Maher's show try to say that Trump was NOT a "country club Republican", and for some reason, no one told her that Trump owns the fucking country clubs. (Was it Batya Ungar-Sargon? I can't find the clip but it's hardly worth my time to keep looking for it.) He owns the country clubs. He is not a working-class hero. He stiffs working people whenever he can. 

He just sat down with fellow billionaire Elon Musk and talked about how unions were bad because working people would be paid more if they were unionized. And today, he stood in front of his country club in New Jersey with some prop groceries and...um...talked about Hillary Clinton's emails and calling Kamala Harris a communist. Because how long can someone talk about the economy when he's only talking about it to get elected?  He lied, as per usual, because it's what he does. 

It was a dumb snooze version of his stump speech that he fooled certain chosen journalists into turning up for. Low energy. Lower-case "t" Trump. 

His Wounds!

 

Trump: If I took this shirt off, you would see a beautiful beautiful person. But you would see wounds all over. I’ve taken a lot of wounds I can tell you. More than I suspect any president ever pic.twitter.com/ETzIt9jJI0

— Acyn (@Acyn) June 22, 2024

My goodness! The hand Trump has been dealt in life. First, foot spurs, then, low water pressure, and now, a body full of scars! He's a bigger pincushion than St. Sebastian! No one has suffered the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune like this poor sod. Bleed a little money for him, will you? No American president ever suff....

Here I must interject.  Surely, James Garfield gets honorable mention, right? He was shot up so bad his doctors resorted to rectal feeding. And if Trump wants that kind of special treatment, I can stop by the produce discount (pineapple, artichoke, prickly pears....) 

He's not comparing himself to Garfield or Lincoln though--he's on his sufferin' Savior routine for the benefit of the God-Botherer Faith and Freedom convention. How actual people of faith stomach this sort of thing, I just can't fathom. It's both maudlin and a bit blasphemous. 

But he also gave us a funny moment--his refuttal! 

No, I Never Did Hear of "Supply Change".

 

Trump: Things like supply change. You never heard that term pic.twitter.com/Cr0RU9z2F0

— Acyn (@Acyn) February 6, 2024

I've heard of the "supply chain" and so has everyone else. We heard about it especially when it was broken during COVID shutdown when you couldn't find toilet paper or rubbing alcohol or Lysol.  Does Trump really misremember the phrase as "supply change"? As in, we changed from when we could find things in the store to where we could not find things in the store? 

Trump's economy was stupid and not great. It really wasn't what we were promised. His only success was inherited.  The story of his life. 

Maybe he thinks this is a phrase he invented, like when he invented "priming the pump". Trump is the Edison of prevarication--he's always inventing things. Sometimes he Columbuses stuff people have known since forever and asks if they've heard about it, like he's a pioneer. This is because the guy who can't remember people's names, even now, always tries to cover up for his lapses. He's covering up for one of his major lapses right now--he forgot to secure the border during his first term. He could have made it a priority since he ran on it, but he forgot and only shut down the government when he lost the midterms. 

And couldn't get his wall money because Mr. Art of the Deal had no leverage. And shutting down the government didn't help anything. It was costly and dumb. His immigration policy was meh at best. And abusive of human rights at worst. 

TWGB: Who is the Fairest One of All?

 

Donald Trump is very jealous that Taylor Swift is prettier than him and has a football player boyfriend and is the Time Magazine Person of the Year. And she did it all herself.  So he wants to send his flying monkeys to let her know he IS SO more popular than her. He was president once you know, and probably still has papers in his possession that prove it! He's still BIG. It's just the Deep State and the Lying Media's fault he looks SMALL. 

He'll show them! He's ready for his close-up, Mr. DeMille! 

Just, maybe not so close. And with a bit of a filter, And with so much makeup it looks like he's applying shoe polish to his face. 

Deciding he needs to go after a female pop star just after a hefty defamation decision against him sounds like just the sort of beef he would get into. Being appalling to women is one of his hobbies, after all. And consider that it's women who are or would be giving and have given him the most trouble. The nasty Hillary Clinton, who first pegged him as a national security threat and his followers as a basket of deplorables. Nancy Pelosi of the two impeachments. Letitia James. Fani Willis. Nikki Haley. Stormy Daniels, E. Jean Carroll, Roberta Kaplan, Tanya Chutkan... 

Joe Biden, Turkey Pricer

 

What in the world kind of 40-lb, free-range, organic, handfed in little silk underbritches kind of bird did this man buy? https://t.co/OLdG4G2FSj

— Vixen Strangely (@VixenStrangely) November 21, 2023

You can forget what you may have read about record-low unemployment, or how inflation has leveled out and some prices are going back down. The economy still has some very troubling indicators. Such as Republicans on Fox New lying about it.  

In other news, Joe Biden is old. Have you heard?

UPDATE:  It's a good bird!

As a person who believes in responsible, sustainable carnivorism, I wholly approve of the product, but honey--that is not the $15 Butterball (or maybe less with some kind of supermarket receipt promotion) most of America is getting. It is, indeed, a free-range organic, etc. bird. It's a good bird. I bet you it tastes good, too. But it's a bougie bird. And getting a bougie bird is a CONSUMER choice--not a POTUS problem. (It reminds me of the "Thanks Obama!" memes of yore, right?) 

In other news, Biden is still old--and funny:

I saw a lot of pissing and moaning about this picture. It's a whole lot of candles. THAT'S IT. THAT's THE JOKE. I swear, you young people don't have any sense of humor. 

If you think 81 candles looks like a lot, imagine what a visual representation of 91 indictments is like. Yeesh!

Something Inauthentic Here

 

This is wild. Particularly the part where he says "my friends and I coordinated a bank run" followed by "so then I bought shares of the bank thinking I could profit off the run". pic.twitter.com/67iwCrE6yj

— @chimeracoder@mastodon.social🦦 🏳️‍🌈 (@chimeracoder) March 12, 2023

While I appreciate the idea that people with money in SVB aren't necessarily bad actors who deserve to lose their savings (above the insured amount) and that the majority should be "made whole", there is something that feels inauthentic about the collapse of this bank and Signature Bank (which has a lot of crypto money in it).  I don't trust what I'm looking at because of the people I'm looking at. There are people wealthy enough to lose some portion of their vast fortune and still be fine--a bank run is just an investment in fuckery.

I remember back in December I was snarky about a Russian bank run. These things can be precipitated by rumors. I feel like the bank management and certain investors need to be looked at. This bank run has nothing to do with "wokeness" specifically (how do you even connect the dots on that one? A bank certainly could do woke shit and be responsible enough to have a risk assessment officer--these guys didn't) so much as deregulation and gambling in the old savings establishment again. In the meanwhile, the people who served us junk bonds and the dot com and housing bubbles really don't have anything they need to be telling us about moral hazard right now. 

There is no good reason there should be any "contagion" from this thing. Doom-saying about it...feels inauthentic.