TWGB: Where Did it Go?

 

So, it looks like Trump is broke. He got Chubb to do his E. Jean Carroll thing, but they'll be fucked if they are standing his fraud trial bond. His lawyers say he can't get that bond, and no shit. This man had debts before he even ran for president. He has big loans from all kinds of people. And he barely owns any properties at all in full or outright. This is actually a pretty old story--Trump never has been worth what Trump says he is.  Trump's value has been about Trump's word--and we know what his word is worth now. 

Even after the NY AG seizes his properties, he may still owe. That's where we are. Because I don't know for sure that he put anything up for collateral for the Chubb bond for the Carroll case, but probably? And what isn't encumbered? 

But here's my naïve question for you all, my readers, in all seriousness, if Trump has been overstating his property valuations to get favorable loan terms, and evading taxes on his business wherever he could, and engaging in various frauds, like Trump University and his slush fund charity and so on, and money laundering and the like--where does his money go that he can't find a half billion in liquidity? Is it a thing where the money is gone and he's just a whole shitting inept businessman who frauded his face off and still ended up in a hole? Or did he invest elsewhere (offshore, you could say) where the money is available to him and he isn't letting other motherfuckers get hold of it? 

Do you think if he graciously lets us see his tax returns for the last couple of years like a responsible presidential candidate, we'll even know? 

TWGB: Raining Bad Pennies

 

This post is brought to by Bell's Theorem, karma and the tendency of criminals to return to the scene of the crime. If this opening sentence doesn't make sense, wait for it. I've been waiting for the NY civil trial decision and the immunity thing like all of you guys. The waiting is either the hardest part as Petty proclaimed, or the special sauce as hedonists everywhere have discovered to their throbbing surprise and delight. 

Discovering that Trump's data protection suit against Christopher Steele was rejected was a fun thing to trip over on a Thursday morning. There's no good reason to have brought that case, and no good reason to file it when it got filed except--as a warning that Trump will try to sue you eventually if you say mean things about him ever? I don't know UK law, but this was rejected for statute of limitations, which really feels to me like he didn't want the suit, just the message the making the suit sends. And his campaign paid for the pleasure of a lolsuit. (Level Law--the firm--it's in his FEC reports. Donors are paying for the pleasure of Trump satisfying his grudges.)

Trump's predicament is dumb. What if there were a suit that had to deal with the data in the dossier, which would be rehashing shit that could have come up in 2016--NOW?! Me? I think there were a LOT OF THINGS we could have discussed about Trump in 2016 that we didn't. And now it's 2024, there's SO MUCH MORE. 

TWGB: Trump Derangement Syndrome

 

A funny thing happened in the news today: the Trump campaign was contacted about the similarities between Trump's recent "Vermin" comments and the language of dictators like Hitler and Mussolini, and we were given an unbelievably great quote from a Trump spokesperson:

“Those who try to make that ridiculous assertion are clearly snowflakes grasping for anything because they are suffering from Trump Derangement Syndrome and their entire existence will be crushed when President Trump returns to the White House,” Cheung told The Washington Post on Monday.

Or--we're just people who can read and compare statements from historical figures like the aforementioned dictators and Trump. But I love this for his spokesman: actually saying aloud like a fucking tool: "their entire existence will be crushed". Oooooh, CRUSH ME BIG DADDY! Melt me like the little bitch snowflake I am! Wear the jackboots this time! 

Also, a not funny thing happened today: Trump's older sister Maryanne Trump Barry died today, and instead of making any reference to that, Trump posted the above quote on his failing (sooo many losses--SAD!) Truth Social:

Deranged Jack Smith, Andrew Weissmann, Lisa Monaco, the "team of losers and misfits' from CREW, and all the rest of the Radical Left Zealots and Thugs who have been working illegally for years to "take me down," will end up, because of their suffering from a horrible disease, "TRUMP DERANGEMENT SYNDROME (TDS!), in a Mental Institution by the time my next term as President is successfully completed. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! 

TWGB: Flipping Bricks

 

Well, here's to having the kind of week in the news where a journey into TrumpWorld actually feels like a bit of a vacation. And before I get things started, let's hear it for this week's TrumpWorld winner, though he doesn't even know it, Jim Jordan, for not becoming Speaker of the House. I used to joke about a tough job as "leading the clowns and following the elephants"--and that's what GOP Speaker would look like right now. Jimmy--enjoy doing less. I hope to enjoy you doing less and less in the future. It suits you. 

Now on to TrumpWorld--obviously, the big story this week is out of Fulton County where Sidney Powell and now Kenneth Chesebro have entered plea agreements with cooperation.  This does a handful of things--shocks TrumpWorld because some folks probably thought Powell was too batshit to get flipped: nah, she's a lawyer and figured out how screwed she was--and with the addition of Chesebro, um, probably Jenna Ellis and Rudy Giuliani should be getting on the phone about getting correct, you think? 

By admitting guilt, they are highlighting that the conspiracy was real and by agreeing to talk about it without Trump and the other co-conspirators getting the benefit of watching those speedy trials get played out for them, they are giving some folks specters of not a penny or a dime dropping, but a whole Coinstar machine falling out. Happy Halloween being haunted with the ghosts of felonies past and sentences future, you guys!

TWGB: Seething Contempt

 

The former guy seemed a little confused about how he ended up with no jury. His attractive strip mall attorney who also does traffic beefs forgot to check a box! (So weird! By his own admission, Trump is always checking boxes.) But anyway, instead of being mad at his counsel (and really, they are what he can get) Trump trained his ire on the AG (of course) calling her a reverse racist again and the judge, which is exactly what you would do if the decision in this case came down to (checks notes) that guy. 

TrumpWorld has poisoned my brain. I start looking for the obvious fuckery every time. Is Trump baiting the judge so he can declare everything was biased against him? Is he baiting him to get contempt ruled on him? Is he just pretending he doesn't know how he ended up with no jury so he can turn around and waste time with an incompetent counsel appeal? 

I have no idea at all. Maybe none of the above (I don't think any of that would pass the smell test, anyway) and it is really just a sad, farcical clusterfuck where the stable genius is watching his life pass in front of him. But he says he's going to testify on his own behalf, and goddamn if that doesn't sound worth the price of admission!

And maybe he also wants to duck the deposition for the Michael Cohen libel trial he initiated because he realized he'd incriminate himself because he's a big flipping dumbass. Because at some point, isn't somebody gonna ask: But wasn't he working for YOU? Like, Michael Cohen didn't get himself into the shit for you without you, hon.

TWGB: Trump's Loss

 

Seems like just yesterday when Donald Trump was coming down that escalator in the iconic Trump Tower to announce his bid for the presidency, and we all heard he paid people to show up. He was already fantastically famous due to his reality tv program which depicted him as a very successful businessman, albeit with an entire fuckton of editing. The reality has always been a lot more complicated.  As in, very legally complicated. Just so, so, so complicated.  Trump was already knee-deep in litigation over Trump University--a fraud. 

Since then, he's had to pay $2 million and shut down his fraudulent Trump Organization charity, his business has been found liable for tax fraud, and now, in a summary judgment, NY AG Leticia James' bank fraud case against him has been substantially bolstered--Trump and his family loses their business, and Trump even parts with that golden escalator. 

TWGB: Here's to the Losers

 

Once upon a time, in a far-off land called TrumpWorld, a would-be king promised there would be "so much winning" that people would get bored of winning.  I still don't know what that means, and I've studied it like it was my job. It sounds like something a conman would say. But lately--there has not been a lot of winning. One term, two impeachments, three marriages, four indictments, five deferments, six bankruptcies  (six point drop after missing the first GOP primary 2024 debate), seven trials, probably going on eight (Arizona? Michigan?) or even nine. 

The losers for August 30th include Pete Navarro, who can't claim executive privilege that Trump didn't claim for him and will go to trial in a whole minute for contempt. He seems to have thought Trump won in 2020, (or alleged to), but the sign held up behind him reminds us Trump most certainly did not. And any rational person would realize that, by the utter lack of Trump in the White House right now. Navarro tried to wrest the sign away from the protester and was advised he was on camera and you know. 

Loser.