CPAC: Mining the Kampf

 

What I need you to understand is that I stood here for about half an hour yesterday and this guy NEVER broke character

He wept sitting on the bench

He wept sitting on the floor

He tallied days on a chalkboard set up for the purpise pic.twitter.com/dgGag1Qcjn

— Laura Jedeed (@LauraJedeed) August 5, 2022

Oh, look!, It's the Walkaway stool pigeon Brandon Straka, who gave considerable help to the DOJ and is now doing performance art.  Also too, we can see the dear motherly comforter Marjorie Taylor Greene. She should have anointed his feet with spikenard and rubbed it in with her double-processed hair while she was at it. 

If anyone thought the Viktor Orban shit was going to be the principal shame of CPAC 2022.2: Fascism Boogaloo (no, actually....) Why no! It's the attempt to recycle the insurrectionists into martyrs (yeah, they love martyrs, these guys) and blame the FBI and DOJ and the 1/6 Committee for thinking a whole violent episode to try and overthrow the government is something worth prosecuting. (Rep. Andy Biggs suggested defunding the DOJ which is definitely "Defund the police" if I ever heard it.)

Every conservative who faces any kind of accountability is automatically a victim. Alex Jones is supposedly a victim. Trump is a victim. Everyone at CPAC is unfathomably stricken and can barely stand all their various oppressions. 

Rick Scott thinks the liberals are the real book burners. They aren't actually burning any books, while neo-Nazis are closing libraries, but whatever. Ted Cruz explores kiss my ass's gender as being outside of the binary by proclaiming kiss my ass's neo-pronouns as "kiss my ass". Kiss my ass has decided that "kiss my ass" better describes the entire vibe of kiss my ass's gender expression, which is neither male nor female but definitely has a whole lot to do with ass. (All across this land, English teachers are weeping because the previously understood definition of pronoun, it is no more.)  Matt Schlapp is also Team Fuxxor the Binary, considering USAself to be USA/USA's. I'll try to honor that. 

USA's partner, Mercy, has shown her quality to be strained. This whole event is a showcase of grievance, racism, and grifting.  And for what it's worth, if you thought you saw Nick Fuentes there, CPAC says you did not.  (Just like TPUSA, one never admits groping with groypers.) 

I will refrain from asking where is a ginormous meteor or sudden sinkhole when our idiot culture deserves one but look at these sideshow geeks. Just take them all in, in all their pugnacious and howling glory. Or at any rate, their salacious and growling gloryholes, where they pleasure their political id as if we can't see what they are up to. 

They are talking up their 1/6 antics etc. to themselves.  From the outside, how weird and cultish that seems! We should never fail to deride these bitter pitiful people. And never let them arise from their mental cells to strike out at our democracy like they did on 1/6 again. 

He Got a Bowl!

 

In the interests of keeping the "leader of the party" (as Ronna McDaniel likes to call him, or pretends to like to call him) happy, The Former Guy was finally presented with his participation trophy (as the oracle foretold, I mean, as he whined that he deserved). He has accepted "awards" for less. He's even accepted awards that don't exist. So he got a bowl! It's a nice bowl. It's shiny. I bet he can see himself in it.

That much is okay by me. I think he should be given a nice award ribbon every day with an all-day sucker because it would keep his mouth full and if there's one other thing Trump likes, it's suckers.  But when, oh when, does the GOP stop kissing up to this guy? Because speaking of empty vessels that flatter Trump, Nikki Haley just said she'd back Trump and wouldn't run against him in 2024, and I bet she wouldn't, at that. 

But I still don't get what the play here is. He's not getting any younger or more attractive as a candidate. He's actually just going to be more of a grumpy old bastard. It can't be the hope of a family political dynasty: Ivanka is definitely not running for anything, and Don Jr. is, and this just my nonprofessional opinion here, a total mess. So, is it the lingering appeal of white grievance politics and abandonment of all principle they're wedded to?

Sounds like great news for Tucker Carlson, if so. But I don't think it's good news for the GOP or the country.

Here We Go Again

I am entirely amazed at the resourcefulness of one Hillary Rodham Clinton, who based on all the medical experts who were paying close attention back in 2016, wasn't even still supposed to be alive right now, what with all the Parkinson's and brain damage and what not, that she is still out here fiendishly stealing elections for other people in 2018 (like she, um, did not do in 2016 for herownself). Or so Rudy Giuliani, one-time presidential hopeful, and current Trump lawyer, wants us to imagine. 

The unvarnished story appears to be that Rick Scott, current governor and possible future senator of the great state of Florida, would very much like to see a manager because somebody is still counting these votes and he might not stay ahead. He has a little problem with this Florida law that triggers an automatic recount if the margin is...

Ah, fuck me, I have been here before. If we're older than 18, we all the hell have. It's the long national nightmare again, isn't it? Where, for some reason, Florida's election law says all the votes should be recounted, but there's a special, invisible ink "dibs" where GOPers think maybe this shouldn't always be true if electing a Republican is at stake, right?

Because there will be a popular revolt, where "popular" means a rent-a riot of GOP stalwarts from out of town will swoop in to stop the counting of the actual Floridians' votes. In other words, a kind of mob. (I thought those were supposed to be the worst, though, right? Ask Ann Coulter, or Derek Hunter, or some orange peel-wrapped rancid bacon sculpture like Donald Trump.)

Or maybe, just saying, instead of being the kind of guys that Scott and Giuliani are actually being, Florida could just, I don't know, follow the actual election rules as they were written and see what shakes out in the game as it is supposed to be played? Especially when it's a likely recount for US Senate, Governor, and players to be named later? Instead of being the kind of drama that goes all the way to SCOTUS, which was always kind of stupid. But now, it would be even more stupid, because Justice Bro Keggernaugh. 

This isn't even addressing the extra-special crispy fried fuckery that is whatever is going on in Georgia (Jesus be a legitimate and fair run off with all the machines present and working) and probably Arizona, where Democrat Kyrsten Sinema is now up because of the mail-in ballots, and now the GOP in AZ doesn't want to count all of those. 

Which is not to say not all Arizona Republicans get it:

@AZGOP I am one of those mail in ballots. I was under the impression my vote was always counted.

— Cindy McCain (@cindymccain) November 8, 2018

(I respect this lady.)

We have dealt with voter suppression, from purging of the voter rolls to voter ID laws that can't really address an in-person voter fraud problem that doesn't actually exist, to try and rustle up the people to just know that they have a voice. I have so much respect for the way some of these challenged but still rising stars worked their asses off to try and increase the map of who we think of as "likely voters". But. This sort of thing, right here, the actual clear message the GOP as a freaking institution, puts out that they are not interested in actual "one person, one vote" where any of those people might be demographically likely Democratic voters, is an outright admission that they don't really love small "d" democracy or perceive that what they are doing is extremely divisive because it means they want, not to debate people who differ, but to erase their vote--their ballot-voice. 

How do you negotiate with a polite grin for your existence as a political power, when the other side will aim for your teeth?

Strap in. This arc of justice is not too rusty yet to get moved. 

Happy Earth Day, If You Want It

It makes sense that President Obama gave an address about global warming on Earth Day in the Everglades National Park, because this sensitive region has dozens of species of plant and animal life that would be impacted by sea level rise. But let's make no mistake: even if we discount the loss of irreplaceable habitat, the advance of climate change will have significant impact on the livelihood of people living in regions like Florida, with impacts to fishing, tourism, agriculture and real estate.

Addressing climate change isn't the job-killer--climate change is.

It also makes me a little happy to see the President take a message about climate change to Florida in light of word that "climate change" is forbidden as a topic of conversation for officials in that state. That strikes me as nonsensical, and even a little chilling. (Really? Recommending someone seek a mental health evaluation for indulging in a little "politically incorrect" truth-telling? That seems like some kind of Soviet tactic, to me.)  I hope the whole affair gave Governor Scott the vapors.

In other news, WI Governor and likely 2016 GOP Presidential Primary contestant Scott Walker decided Earth Day is exactly when you propose to cut 57 employees from the Department of Natural Resources. (Gov. Walker does not seem especially sentimental regarding his state's natural resources or popular input regarding them.) Wisconsin is another state where discussion of climate change has been, well, chilled. Which is a damn shame, because ground water is at risk in case of climate-change related drought even if WI is a land of lakes and streams--and as dairy country, watering and having lush grazing land for livestock is at a premium. I am a bit of a cheese fan. I would like my supply guaranteed, please.

One might take a moment to reflect that, while climate change is global, all politics is local. Responsible conservation begins with people electing responsible state government to act as stewards of the people's resources. Making the Earth cleaner, safer, less-polluted, and less at-risk of large-scale awfulness seems remote, but in many ways involves managing what you can--like not having people who regard your state as so many saleable resources to unload, as opposed to a precious place to sustain for your family and future generations to enjoy, as your governor.

No Fans Allowed?

When I saw some business on Twitter about Florida Governor Rick Scott not taking the stage for his debate with former Gov. Charlie Crist, I kind of had it in my head that by "fan", an actual human supporter of the former governor was on the stage, which would kind of make sense--but no. It was a small appliance under the podium intended to, I suppose, keep the former governor suitably comfortable under the bright lights and all that.

I feel like a "no fans" clause would be really strange to put in a set of debate rules--like, how would that benefit a candidate, unless Gov. Scott thought, I dunno, the chilly breezes would escape from under the podium, cooling his blood and causing him to go into premature hibernation or something? If there was a "no fans" clause, it would be one thing if Scott pulled it out as a violation after, let's say, doing badly at the debate, but to make a big show of it beforehand just isn't very smooth.

State of Florida--you all do know your current governor is weird, right?

Say "Yes" to This Mess?

 The above ad from the College Republican National Committee kind of looks like an attempt at outreach to women, doesn't it? The actors in the ad are all women. It covers things women really care about, like the budget and pretty dresses!

 Seriously? The Rick Scott "dress" wanted to piss-test welfare recipients at a cost to the taxpayers of a bunch of money that companies he was associated with would collect on.  Dresses are very rarely associated with Medicare fraud.  If Rick Scott were a dress, he might not look all that pretty. Particularly not to women voters. But let's just be silly and ask--why is a gender essentialist and condescending ad like this the way the College Republicans decided to support their guy? Is this one of those tone-deaf deals like the "Diversity Bake Sales" where they kind of thought more people would be in on the joke?

I just think it's dickish. You wear a wedding dress one time on one special day. The policies of a governor can last for a long time. A politician isn't a "brand" or a "pricetag", and the analogy is insultingly reductionist.

But this kind of "relating to women via women things" instead of actually boasting policies that women can feel good about isn't startling or new. Just recently, a Florida politician tried to explain away his decision to hold a men's only fundraiser by likening it to "women stuff"--a lingerie party! (Goodness knows I would only wear underwires and itchy lace to bed just for me because it feels so good--how I am not incorporating babydoll teddies into my day-to-day regime is beyond me--you know how us hens do get together and just for some reason select to spend large money on small garments that seem to have been put together by a team of engineers with cleavage rehabilitation in mind because sisterhood and chardonnay. I challenge all of his assumptions, I do!)

Another brilliant mind in the women's outreach vein did an ad that likened Obama to a very bad boyfriend because us sisters have all been there, haven't we? (Everything about that message is kind of lying and wrong, on so, so many levels.)  So been there and done with that "boyfriend thing" though, GOP.

Honestly, maybe the GOP should just try and outreach caterpillars. They could hardly do worse than they have been doing with women.

But in case you were confused--the Republican Party is still made up of a diverse bunch of stock photo people. Of which some are even women. Because they care.

Gov. Rick Scott Demonstrating that the War on Women is Just a Figment of Our Collective Consciousness

So--imagine a bill comes to your desk allocating more funds for rape crisis centers. Attached with it comes the explanation that services to victims are underfunded.  The total--$1.5 million.  In a state like Florida, what's that?

Way more than Gov. Rick Scott thinks the issue deserves:

A spokesperson for Scott said he vetoed that particular line item in the state budget because the state already funds sexual violence programs, and nobody was able to make it clear to him why rape crisis centers needed the new funding.

"Governor Scott approved funding for many projects that have statewide impact and do not duplicate programs already funded by the state," Lane Wright, Scott's press secretary, told HuffPost. "This new funding of $1.5 million would have been duplicative, since, as a state, we already fund sexual violence programs. There was no information suggesting any needs in this area weren’t already being met. The state already provides about $6.5 million for rape prevention and sexual assault services. That is in addition to the funds available for domestic violence programs -- $29 million to be specific. Many victims of sexual violence seek refuge at domestic violence shelters." 

Jennifer Dritt, the executive director of the Florida Council, said she was "stunned" and "confused" by Scott's move and that she questions his reasoning for slashing the funds.
"We say 'here's the need, here's the need, here's the need,' and frankly, nobody's paying any attention," she told HuffPost. "We gave them information about the number of new survivors we have and we showed them that these rape crisis centers have waiting lists. Survivors are having to wait weeks, sometimes six weeks, in some programs three months to be seen. We included quotes from the programs about the waiting lists and what services they weren't able to offer because of a lack of money. There is clearly an unmet need."

You can see where he really considered the information he was presented with--not. As far as the funds being "duplicative" (is this a word?), they were intended to shore up existing programs that had increased need--not creating duplicate programs.

I know simply vetoing funds is kind of thin gruel, especially when more outrageous things are happening in Florida all the time.  But on the other hand, this kind of shows that even when GOP officials aren't actively harming women with their policies--they sure aren't going out of their way to help.

Did they have to tie a pork chop around his neck?

FL. Governor Rick Scott is not popular

(How not popular is he?)


He's so not-popular that he's got a pre-written letter for his "fans" to send to newspapers.  In case they can't think of anything good to say about him, I guess.

That is all.

Florida: About to be full of Shit?

Via Jonathan Turley's site, a weird thing Florida wants to do with their "treated human waste" and "food people will actually be eating".  Here it is:

...After a heavy lobbying effort by industry, Florida is about to rescind a ban on the use of human waste to treat crops. Soon more than 90 companies will be pumping waste from about 100,000 septic tanks on to their fields — an estimated 40 million gallons treated with lime.

Only last year, the last year, the legislature banned the use of such waste under the strong advice of public health experts. When “land application” was used, it was destroying not only Florida’s waterways but harming eco-tourism.


Now, companies have succeeded in reviving “land application” starting in 2016 in the House. HB 1479, which lifts the ban, passed by a one-sided vote of 89-25.

Ew. Ew. Ew. Yeah, well Florida also is extra-special regarding what all is in the water. Which leads me to believe that by "treated human waste" we could be seeing "who the fuck is checking this?"  human waste. With an e.coli outbreak soon to appear near you! 

Naturally, if you are Galtian enough, you are not in Florida but your own little Galt's gulch where you've been subsistence farming long enough to get the knack of it, so maybe this doesn't matter to you, and if you did have to condescend to rewarding other people's mooching by subsidizing their playing at making food for people to eat, you already have a kit to test for the safety of your own food which you use with great frequency and could probably find out for yourself before you ate a bad, poopy orange and developed the kind of kidney failure thousands of other moochers would have to go on collectivist social medicine for!  Or, like, die! Because bootstraps! And because such testing is obviously like cake! Everyone with the means should totally be testing their own food for e.coli--amirite?

But if you were just a regular person, yeah, there is a risk of probably e. coli getting into your food chain and totally killing you now. Thanks Florida. Home of oranges. You know, I used to associate Florida oranges with Anita Bryant, and now with poo. I know that isn't a big difference, but, still.

Ew.