TWGB: In Memory of His Sacrifice!

 

Honestly, people!  Didn't you pause amidst your bank holiday sales and cook-outs and fireworks and actually honoring the fallen servicemembers of the wars of the United States to think of the real sacrificial victim of all of our total history, bar none, of which there have been none greater, one Donald J. Trump, Stable Genius? 

Maybe you did because you missed his bizarre self-pitying post! But I'm extremely online, so I got to be appalled the way normal-thinking people actually would be on being confronted with the comfortable, silver-spoon airhead of advanced age telling us his pussy-grabbing and bank-defrauding penalties are proof of a rigged system. Even though he has the funds to appeal it all the way, paid for by his non-silver spoon airhead faithful. 

TWGB: Contempt!

 

Reporter: Are you going to testify?

Trump: I have a gag order. I’m not allowed to answer that question pic.twitter.com/ss1c9flfDL

— Acyn (@Acyn) May 6, 2024

Oh, he's allowed to answer the question. Donald Von Shitzinpantz can testify and talk about testifying, this has been well-established. What he can't do is denigrate the witnesses or the jurors. Now, maybe listening to this lying ass is a form of denigration to the jury--but it isn't prevented by the gag order. And for the nth time--a gag order isn't some brand-new fresh thing invented just to give Trump a hard time. It is a normal application of restraint for a defendant who is already liable to fuck with the witnesses or jury in a way detrimental to the pursuit of justice.

So if someone has a problem with Trump being under a gag order, go look at how Trump tries to fix or even rig things to his benefit. He loves the obstruction of justice because he is not a big fan of justice from Mueller to Merchan to his obviously delayed for all the fuckery reasons federal cases. 

He isn't even a big fan of the Constitution if it stands in his way. 

TWGB: And the Portions are Too Small!

 

The downtrodden billionaire schlump, Donald Trump, has laid bare his soul to move us to pity and fear (first as tragedy, then as farts) by laying out the paradoxes of his current fate: they are rushing his trial, and he is spending too much time in court; and he is being kept away from all the campaigning he wants to do that he is absolutely not doing on the days he does not have court. 

It is a pity--he is too mad and hurt to fundraise (Trump not ready to take money: UNPOSSIBLE!) but of course, by email his campaign will fundraise off of his legal misfortunes. And they really, really have to, because lawyers are expensive. And he's mad at his lawyers for not being aggressive enough and for delays in the case, even while the aggressiveness he WANTS is causing delays and might not even be the best strategy for him. 

No wonder the bottomlessly energetic Trump (according to the unbiased ramblings of #2 son, Eric) can't stay awake at trial. He's trying to take all the options in the "Choose Your Own Adventure" his life has become. This is why his recent rant sounds like the Woody Allen joke: "The food is terrible and the portions are too small." 

What the hell does he want or expect, really?