TWGB: Would You Buy a Watch from this Man?

 

So, obviously this thing where Trump is selling watches is a part of the "Trump campaign as business plan" ethos that the media doesn't quite know what to do with. It's at least as good as the NFT racket. It's better than the Trump DC Hotel racket, that Trump even found a new way to lose money at. 

We might not be able to really talk about things like the $10 million that flowed to Trump (allegedly) from Egypt in 2016, probably, or even fully investigate his business interests in China. But we could definitely ask why he's got the Mrs. out here pounding her book (which he hasn't read), her jewelry line, and fucking Chreestmas ornaments as a kind of Trump "lifestyle brand". 

Is this what serious people do? Like, if people can't afford bacon and eggs, is this really how you demonstrate solidarity with them? 

So, here's the thing--back in 2017, Trump trotted out a lawyer and like a pallet of blank paper in file folders to pretend he divested from his businesses, and LOL, no he did not do that. But dipstick MAGA  brainwashed cult members will tell you all about what he gave up to be president. That's right MAGA--he never did spend most of his time between Trump Tower, Bedminster and Mar-a-Lago. He wasn't still CEO of Trump Org when he was directing the payment of hush money from the White House. He didn't direct funds to his various properties from the US government whenever possible. 

Taxation Without Representation and Mad King Don

 

REPORTER: I've spoken with some economists about your tariff proposals and they say they don't see how it won't make items cost more--

TRUMP: I don't need Congress, but they'll approve it. I'll have the right to impose them myself if they don't. pic.twitter.com/YuRHvzCkE3

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) September 23, 2024

Mad King Don is pretty sure this would constitute an official act and he would get away with it. Sure, it raises prices (he knows it would "punish" John Deere if he put a heavy tariff on their products, so he understands the mechanism when he wants to).

But keep in mind that this is the same person who says that the stock market is up because people are anticipating he will win, when his own stock, $DJT is plummeting, and even its CEO, Devin Nunes, is selling. Something seems pretty sketchy with that reasoning. 

The Trump solution is here, though-- never fear: because something something crypto, something something also a commemorative coin. And the hem of his garment, which possibly cures scrofula. 

Have you even ever met someone with scrofula? You don't know!

TWGB: And the Portions are Too Small!

 

The downtrodden billionaire schlump, Donald Trump, has laid bare his soul to move us to pity and fear (first as tragedy, then as farts) by laying out the paradoxes of his current fate: they are rushing his trial, and he is spending too much time in court; and he is being kept away from all the campaigning he wants to do that he is absolutely not doing on the days he does not have court. 

It is a pity--he is too mad and hurt to fundraise (Trump not ready to take money: UNPOSSIBLE!) but of course, by email his campaign will fundraise off of his legal misfortunes. And they really, really have to, because lawyers are expensive. And he's mad at his lawyers for not being aggressive enough and for delays in the case, even while the aggressiveness he WANTS is causing delays and might not even be the best strategy for him. 

No wonder the bottomlessly energetic Trump (according to the unbiased ramblings of #2 son, Eric) can't stay awake at trial. He's trying to take all the options in the "Choose Your Own Adventure" his life has become. This is why his recent rant sounds like the Woody Allen joke: "The food is terrible and the portions are too small." 

What the hell does he want or expect, really? 

Devin Nunes is Just Asking Questions

 

Trump Media CEO Devin Nunes says he has hundreds of thousands of smaller MAGA investors in Trump Media, and they are calling him asking why the stock is tanking, so he filed a complaint with the SEC and says Biden is conspiring with Wall Street bankers to screw him. pic.twitter.com/ZxTEmxeN0J

— Ron Filipkowski (@RonFilipkowski) April 20, 2024

Something about Truth Social puts me in one of those "can't place where all the emotion is coming from" moods, somewhat akin to when Trump gave the Presidential Medal of Freedom to Art Laffer. I guess it's my strong feeling that shitty economics threatens livelihoods and personal savings--it isn't a game. Supply-side economics does not work in practice. It's an upwards transfer of wealth that has led to increased income inequality and which holds back growth because there is no incentivization for long-term investment or worker protections. 

Something about Trump, the man, the myth, the legend, is trapped in a 1980s elephantine "greed is good" vision of worshipping sacred golden calves. He's wealthy, so he is supposed to be a job-creator--look at how he created a job for Devin Nunes, a man so intelligent he sued an internet cow for defamation for linking to true stories like a thin-skinned goober who never heard of the "Streisand effect".  

Trump is like an icon of a different time. "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous" and all that. That time sucked and the people sucked.  Even Trump's rivals kind of sucked. (Everything was the worst.) 

Anyway, Nunes is looking beyond the Trump Media fundamentals, to blaming the "naked short sellers" for the devaluation of the stock he had to answer for when frankly, the business hadn't done anything yet. (And they will do something--they will be a streaming service for stuff you just won't get anywhere else on the internet, which I promise you is not a thing.)

TWGB: Been Caught Sleeping?

 

Maybe other things happened at Trump's first day of his first criminal trial, but the apparently most notable thing was that he appeared to nod off a few times. This prompted the ever-loving internet to change his nickname from Don Poorleone to Don Snoreleone (The Nodfather!), some wags to ponder if Trump wasn't loaded up with Xanax to keep from going ape, and Trump to give the stankeye to Maggie Haberman, who was the one who caught him whispering to his chest hairs. It's a pretty bad look for Trump, who once murdered Jeb Bush with the term "low-energy" and whose worst nickname for President Biden was, of all things, "Sleepy Joe".

The idea of a "sedated Trump" really doesn't seem too out of the realm of possibility to me--he's already skating on thin ice with multiple violations of his gag order and was apprised today that a courtroom outburst could result in a contempt arrest. His contempt hearing for the gag order violation is next week (between the $175 million bond hearing and the SCOTUS immunity argument). Trump's usual combativeness will NOT be an asset, here. (Buying popcorn for the Sandoval bit, tho'. As I understand it, that's where the court determines the kinds of Trump's shitty behavior that he can and can't be hit with in cross during the trial. I'm probably super-over-simplifying because IANAL.) 

I'm sure the Trump faithful will insist that, like Daniel in the lion's den. he was relying on the power of prayer. Or something. They are pretty good at making myths to deal with the paradoxes of TrumpWorld.