Trump at CPAC: Apocalypse or Trump

 

They aren't my people and it isn't my crowd, but I can't help but feel like the vibe is off at CPAC this year. Is it because of groping allegations against Matt Schlapp? Is it because come big name conservative figures like Ron DeSantis, Tim Scott and Mike Pence weren't there? (Or is it more like, this was a house packed for Trump, and they would not have been welcome?) 

This made Trump the real feature--the guy who was going to electrify the event. And, well. I don't know. I guess I'm used to his act. If it's the sort of thing you like, I guess you would like that sort of thing, but for me, I've seen him complain about how unfair things are for him (Ugh! His STRUGGLE!), make up stories that did not happen, and then wax apocalyptic as a part of his mythmaking to set himself up as an avenging angel against all enemies of the fatherland who will create a new America. 

Am I kidding? No. He says things like "they are not coming after me, they are coming after you" to his fan club so they will think of his plight as theirs. (He has stopped pretending there was any distance between himself and the 1/6 insurrectionists with a recording with the "J6 Prison Choir" to raise funds for the inmates.) He says, just as he did in his 2020 campaign, that if he doesn't win this time, "we" won't even have a country. And he promises he will be their retribution. 

But if he does win, he has such promises:

Trump has a little list of things he would like to create--new "Freedom Cities". Flying cars. A per-child stipend for the hero mothers...who will help build the great new baby boom.

Wait, what? Well, yeah. Baby bonuses. I feel like there will definitely be some demographic constraints (straight, married property owners) on who gets rewarded but, that's what the man said. Also, he will drive out the decadent art and architecture that is bringing us down. Strengthen the border. Send the National Guard into the big cities to fight crime. Probably continue to not support NATO. 

He says this is the final battle--it's his battle, not ours. He is old, laden with court-dates, twice-impeached, and even if he cannot admit it, lost very legitimately in 2020. His superfans at the diminished CPAC want him--fellow election-loser Kari Lake even kissed a portrait of him--but who actually needs him?  

(I don't know, but they will probably also need pardons or something.) 

TWGB: Look Who's Coming to the Doral

 

Stories about the Trump organization being fined $1.6 million for 17 felonies (overhead! practically a turnpike toll!) or Trump and his lawyers being sanctioned nearly a million dollars for a frivolous LOLsuit against Hillary Clinton and a whole cast of characters based on Trump's long-established grievances (as if the body of his one-time Twitter feed had coalesced itself into a legal document) are heart-warming, sure, but they leave me cold. 

It only follows, as the night the day, that some degree of fucking around will get some finding out on the morrow. Do I find Trump's balance of FA to FO satisfactory?

I do not. He still gets around and has got some coming around.

This is why I am watching his re-election campaign such as it is find its footing with interest, because as he typed out on Truth Social, he has something wild planned at the Doral. Funny evocative world--wild. I remember when things were wild at the Willard and proceeded to get wilder at the Capitol. Surely, there's nothing intentional there?

But look who is coming to Doral! It's former General and Trump NSA Michael Flynn and the ReAwaken America circus!  It's a person some consider to be a traitor who has gathered election-deniers, Christian Nationalists, Qanon, and the Apocalyptic viewpoint of a showdown between good and evil, happening right here in the good old US of A. 

View From an Ohio Bunker

 

I've been following the Ohio Republican Senate primary with interest because it really feels like a dance-off between two jerks with no rhythm. J.D. Vance is an appalling try-hard, no question, what with tut-tutting the child-free and musing over the ridonk boss Tweets Trump would make in the wake of an actually human person being tragically killed in an accident with liberal Alec Baldwin involved. Because of course, Trump is known for making comments that aren't at all disrespectful, unkind, or outright hurtful. (I mean wait--he is: why do we need that right now, exactly? While people are actually shocked and grieving? To own libs? Or because the faithful need callouses to build up over their human-feeling parts so they can sink still further into deplorability?) 

But Josh Mandel is a special little culture warrior, and from his bunker (under, I presume, freedom's anti-vax cornfield) is suggesting libs (they!) hate "normal Americans" for eating meat (my husband is a meat cutter--I learned that vegetarianism interfered with my drinking so I had to give it up), having babies, guns (I just recommend keeping the babies and the guns in separate spaces is all, we have guns) and for some weird reason, hashtag bitcoin. 

Oh man, I really hate hashtag bitcoin. It's the woooooorst. Hyping assorted forms of funny money that real people invest actual money in feels like a really grifty economics LARP to me. But I see Mandel is committing to his bit, and his bytes.