What are we doing tonight, Brain?

Same thing we do every night, Pinky, try to take over the world!

--Brain, a cartoon mouse.


I've been a little irreverent regarding the ACORN-hoax-like "Big Scoop" of the several videos that seem to be negotiations for the sale of itty-bitty baby body parts, but are actually a fake organization revealing, boringly enough, that Planned Parenthood, which does do abortions, also collects tissue donated by the parent(s) to be used in fetal tissue research for a variety of things. Which is entirely legal. What does anyone actually believe the itty-bitty baby body parts in question (the people on Twitter most belligerent about the hoax enjoy saying "baby body parts"--I believe this is best enhanced with the phrase "itty-bitty" for both aesthetic and factual reasons, as these "baby body parts" are, in fact, from fetuses, and your fetus prior to, say, the 20th week is definitely under a pound in total weight and most abortions are first trimester) are used for fascinates me. Because clearly, the people who have wholeheartedly adopted this claim believe there is a brisk market in itty-bitty baby body parts. An itty-bitty baby body part marketplace--an Itty-Bitty Baby Body Part 'R'Us sort of establishment? Do they believe these itty-bitty baby body parts are whisked into protein smoothies or dried out to be sprinkled on salads? For folk art? Is there an Itty-Bitty Baby Body Part Auction House where organs are sold to be used in frightful rites that would make liberals pray that these weirdos just used endangered rhino horn next time? What, just what, do these hyperventilators think is going on?

Some of them think scientists are putting baby brains in mice. Mice, but with a human brain. I totally feel like I have been here before--for one more time, The Secret of NIMH was not a documentary!

Now, admittedly, this is coming from the folks who believe that there is an Obama Weather Machine.  But do people really think this thing makes sense?  Why in the world would we want to make mice smarter? Build a better mousetrap--the world beats a path to your door. Build a better mouse--bupkis!

Of course, I'm mostly kidding--the real research is like this. Mice are marginally smarter for having stem cells from humans. They aren't having human baby-brain transplants. But we might isolate why humans have the kind of unique intelligence we do. It's legitimate research, because I really can't think of a super villain way to capitalize on really smart mice. Really smart mouse circus? 

It's all so breathtakingly stupid. Of course we're not Frankensteining mice into sentient beings. Of course itty-bitty-baby body parts aren't for sale. How weird a line of thought is all that?