Sunday, March 3, 2024

Did You Raise Your Kids Not to Kill?


I wanted to talk about the deaths of two children, but for a while I wasn't sure how. 

Brianna Ghey was murdered by teenagers because she was a trans girl. Nex Benedict died after an assault after a year (at least) of bullying because he was trans masc/binary. There are people who would claim that these children somehow died because of something called "gender ideology".  If some "force" didn't make them think they were trans--wouldn't they have just not stuck out and then been killed for that? 

The so-called "gender ideology" people are pissed off about is the idea that you are okay to be yourself. The gender ideology that they say is so fucking stringent and dogmatic is--let people live being what they feel they are, and don't fuck with them for it. They can express femininity or masculinity or not really identify with either. They can dress how they will and express their feelings about who they are and what they like without oppression.  How they dress, and whether they are gay or straight or ace or what they want from their one, great beautiful precious life is up to them.  

That life is theirs, and they should be able to live it to the fullest. 

And all society has to do in return is not punish them for existing as themselves. Call them by their names.  Let them live. Let them tend to their bodies as their own vehicles for living in. Just don't oppress. The same rights you would extend to anyone else and not one different thing. 

And they died because of who they were. Because something about them in society didn't suffer them to live. So you tell me, where is the rigid ideology? The one that lets these kids be themselves and enjoy their full potential in this world, or the hate and demonization of even children just going about their business of growing up that makes other children into monsters?

There is no reason in the world any queer person has to try to justify those kids' lives to any person in this world. They were human, and they were only being themselves. I won't lay out what queer joy is, or what gender self-expression means, when you have the world see you as you and just BE. You just tell me why it is ideology where these kids live--and what is normal or right about the world where these kids are hunted like prey, treated like there's a good reason for them to not be here. 

You tell me where it is ideology if I want Nex Benedict  to not have their name be filth in someone else's mouth. Tell me if you can see the discrepancy between the title and the reporting in this article about the murder of Brianna Ghey. 

I ask you not to read me out assertions about something in the culture that made these kids trans as if no one was ever trans before the 21st century or mobile phones or Drag Race. You tell me where other kids, presumably straight, cis kids, learned to pick victims to kill. 

Did you raise your kids not to kill anyone today? Not to bully anyone? To just leave people alone? To have goddamn character? To stick up for the marginalized? To have any damn sense of their own self and putting themselves in another's shoes? If not, why not? That's what I want to know today. Answering that might save some kids' lives tomorrow. And I don't always know that it will get better, but I will not be satisfied if it doesn't, and I don't want anyone else to be. 

Not over the bodies of these young folks or however many others. You will see them and know them by their names. 


Dark Avenger said...

Doesn’t sound like it was an anti-trans murder.

As an alternative to exclusion, Jenkinson was allowed to transfer to Birchwood, where she met and formed a friendship with Ghey.[17] In text messages with Ratcliffe, Jenkinson revealed that she felt obsessed over Ghey.[19] In an interview with child psychiatrist Dr Richard Church, Jenkinson stated that felt she was about to lose Ghey as a friend and that she wanted to "kill her so she would always be with her".[20]

Before the murder, Jenkinson displayed a fascination with serial killers, watching documentaries and keeping notes about notorious killers including Jeffrey Dahmer and John Wayne Gacy.[20][21][22] She reportedly used the Tor browser to access videos of torture and murder on the dark web.[21]

Vixen Strangely said...

I know--it's complicated, but Ratcliffe particularly seemed to have had trans hatred.

But these teens weirdly, like the Columbine killers of a previous generation, somehow were manifesting a desire to kill and fascination with death: to me, this is so much more destructive than kids playing around with crossdressing or whatever. Because it can and has resulted in deaths. So while transphobia alone might not have killed this girl, I think people are worrying whether the culture is making kids less heteronormative when I'm way more concerned about them being violent/suicidal. If a kid is going through a "gay/trans phase"--ok. So they do. Maybe they grow out of it, maybe they become a great trans or gay adult--but they DO become an adult. If they are going through a homicidal phase: this is so much less ideal.

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