The Superlative Mr. Trump

 

Mike Johnson wants us all to know he spent part of his extended Presidents' Day vacation having made a pilgrimage to Mar-A-Lago to get his performance review and take this very optimistic picture with a shoe salesman. Johnson posts that he and Trump will "grow the majority and save America!" 

I always wonder what they are saving America from. Or maybe it's--what are they saving America FOR? Dessert? 

Anyway, that's a nice thing to say about the future of the House, despite the House being a complete clusterfuck with GOP members retiring left and right. And it's a nice thing to say about Mr. Trump, who is, as the title above states--superlative. He's the worst president ever, as determined by a group of scholars. 

Some people were aghast at this report. You just wouldn't think that a one-term, twice-impeached, four-times indicted man who is purely self-involved could somehow be the worst--if you were out of your goddamn mind. This is a man who finally had something to say about the murder of Navalny and predictably made it all about himself, while demonstrating contempt for our legal system in a way I can only call "un-American." 

I like presidents who actually like America--don't you?

Sure, people can point to his accomplishments like um. Moving merch? Others might just wonder if his hustle seems a little desperate. Tacky gold shoes customers will need to wait five months for? Mug shot trading cards? 

You have to admit--absolutely no other president of the US before Trump would EVER have been able to move their own mugshot merchandise. Or even sell remnants of their garment. (I can't help but think of the drawing of lots from the Crucifixion and those "prayer cloths" tv preachers sometimes sold and maybe that's not coincidental.) 

Maybe no other president had to hustle like this. His civil trials and potential damages aren't even over yet--he still has the 1/6 civil cases pending because his crack team of attorneys didn't file anything to try and stop them. 

It's getting so you could expect to see Trump cleaning windshields with Trump water on 5th Avenue--if that wouldn't count as doing business in New York. 

Yes, I know. I'm being mean. But Mike Johnson can celebrate President's Day his way, and I'm doing it mine.