The House GOP Found Their Johnson

 

You know, usually I like to make link-heavy blog posts that substantiate all the facts I drop in one of my screeds, but I will leave the research on this one to my readers because I had limited connectivity to the internet this week and have a whole carton of huevos to fry. But here's the funny thing to me: 

Look at the happy-ass motherfuckers in the picture above.  They think they just got their shit together and ended a long national nightmare. They just picked the most problematic of dudes to unify themselves around. He doesn't look like a whole lot, but whoo, this dude right here. 

This is a Christian nationalist of the kind it's been my whole life's business to want to take down. He's anti-science: a young earth creationist who doesn't believe in climate change. That right there is an air raid siren for me: he does not care about facts and doesn't care whether facts are even useful to the betterment of life for other people. He talks in terms of "belief" because empirical knowledge is inconvenient to his worldview. He is a 2020 election denier: that right there--he cares about power, and GOD DAMN the facts. 

He says he finds his proofs in Scripture: people write books all the time, but if you "believe in" God--who do you think put facts in the world? It feels very much to me like people who deny empirical knowledge are the ones really denying a revelation that can be understood and made accessible, and instead support a kind of false-witness bearing of twisting Scripture to one's own ends. 

He supports a total abortion ban. He wants to criminalize homosexuality. He says it's unnatural. (Bats suck each other off--like, its way natural, gay penguins, and all: birds do it, bees do it, fish do it, bonobos, gorillas and chimpanzees do it--they don't just get down, they pair, or "fall in love". Why does he hate affection and relationships so much? Why does he think people loving one another is bad and dangerous, unless he's motivated by keeping people apart and afraid to be with one another?)

He says it's dangerous to be in the gay lifestyle. (You know what's dangerous? Being a straight human female. Especially when male-dominated politics are against VAWA, reproductive health care like birth control and abortion, and tactically lie about you--female-bodied people--being able to commit infanticide or so-called "post-birth abortion" a thing that doesn't even exist. All things this douchebag has said to imperil female-bodied people like me.) 

Of course he's anti-trans rights, too. He's a Putin ball-polisher and took NRA money during Maria Butina's influence period. So he will be bullshit about Ukraine defense funding. 

He's part of the lawyerly hate group Alliance Defending Freedom and so is his wife, who apparently spent a lot of time "on her knees" this week, hur hur hur. They want some theocratic Handmaiden's Tale bullshit, and I am adamantly opposed to that bullshit. And I don't think for a minute he doesn't know the two ways his comment could have been taken.  About his own wife. In the face of his notions about "sodomy". 

He spread the Dominion Hugo Chavez lie, the literal stupidest most credulous fucknuts thing to come out of the election denialist sewer in 2020. 

So here is what's up: Mike Johnson, who was barely heard of before, is nuts-deep in the insurrectionist movement, is full-tilt cultist MAGA, and the way the GOP fell with all unanimity behind him is a big "tell" that bipartisanship is over and "moderate" Republicans don't even exist. There is not one good House Republican. No, not one. 

He is their mascot and their representation. Every damn thing this asshat ever said needs to be kicked in the teeth of every Republican running for office: is this your man? Do you stand with your man? This on purpose educated knuckle-dragger and the knuckle-dragging twice-impeached, four-times indicted smacked ass he will serve as he never served the Scriptural Jesus? 

The GOP found their supposedly inoffensive Johnson, and he is very offensive, and I would like them to be very much electorally on the receiving end of the Johnson they selected.