More Than the Sum of Our Parts

 

It remains astonishing to me that the party that tried to make an issue of "Define a woman" never had an answer for what a woman is, themselves. They assumed it was easy--like the definition of obscenity as pronounced by Potter Stewart, they would know one when they saw one. But maybe there is a drawback to viewing people in the gross anatomical sense. Is a woman the wife of her husband, as Margorie Taylor Greene insists? So, are nuns only defined as wives of Christ? But what of Buddhist nuns? Is a woman a person who can make babies as Josh Hawley insists? Having never made babies, am I less a woman for that? 

We are more than the sum of our parts. A man, identifying as male, is not the less male for not having a penis through disease or injury--so then why would we consider the accident of genetic sex characteristics necessarily binding on a person identified as female at birth who identifies as male? 

I look at trans men here because too often, the focus is on the assumption about transness is about trans women: that male bodies are aping the feminine form to--I don't know what? Take up our distaff burden and the joy of being the second sex? (Or I guess, second sex 2.0?) Where "cis male" is considered the default, and anything else is The Other?  Look, I signed on to feminism as a wee bairn to tell the world anatomy is not destiny and that gender is not the boss of me. I will never be convinced that feminism was not made for trans folx, too. 

And this isn't to say trans men aren't part of my feminism any more than "woke" (ugh, to use the shorthand of the abusers) cis men are--just be a person who understands that gender and sexuality aren't purely anatomical and that the binary is an illusion--the flight of an arrow between two culturally defined poles. AFAB people can be warriors, cops, priests, rabbis, fathers. AMAB people can nurture, mother, do whatever people think of as women's work.  Do emotional labor. 

The quality of humanity is not strained, it droppeth through all of us. as a gentle rain from heaven and it don't care what our pee parts are. I never made babies and it never made me less a woman. And making them never made a woman-hater more female or feminist than I am even if we share the basic anatomy.  I am of course talking of the heifers who would deny other women birth control or abortion if that was what they needed to live or at least, live well, because they haven't the grace to imagine themselves in that position, even if it certainly could be them. 

And I strongly condemn any person who would imprison a woman for self-abortion, or miscarriage.  The right to not exercise one's fertility must also be a choice, and the failure of one's anatomy to function to produce children is also not a crime--whether abortion or miscarriage, it is not the job of the government to fuck with this person's life. The female bodied are not brood sows and the state is not our farmer. That this is happening in the US in the year of 2022 is not actually a surprise to me, but it is certainly a grave disappointment. Because when do we (I mean, I know we already) imprison women for drugs they take while pregnant, or reckless things they might do when pregnant. So will we punish child bearers for miscarriage if they, say, ride a bike, or take a tumble on stairs, or walk into a partner's fist stomach first? Because they were asking for it? It's appalling to think this way and blame a person for the life they have and their inability to prevent the life they have lost. 

More than the sum of their parts, and once legally defined by their parts alone subject to a set of laws circumscribed by words that don't encompass all of human experience or fairness, just punished for not fitting into a procrustean bed of expectations. Is this what we want future generation to expect for themselves? 

I am for letting kids know who they can be, their bi, NB, trans, gay, straight ready to be an ally, cis selves to be aware of the choices that exist and to not be afraid. I don't want their innocence destroyed with hate, but enlarged with understanding. Awareness other identities exist isn't a sexual awareness in the sense of being violated, but in just being informed and has nothing to do with touching them. I am vigilant about harm to others. I abhor the lie that LGBT presence is a harm to kids ever. Because some kids are, and they need representation and protection, too. And I abhor the definition of women as being baby makers, because maybe we (and our maker if you need to believe in such a thing)  have other plans for us. 

We aren't our definitions. We are people. Always, always, people.