The Red Meat Diet

 

The one time leader of the free world who now lives alone in a hotel sharing buffets, common areas, and staff with strangers, yearns for attention and relevance so badly, he now stands on a patio step every night ranting to tens of people about a 6 month old election that he lost pic.twitter.com/xIuZ7jAkZD

— Mystery Solvent (@MysterySolvent) April 30, 2021

Consider if you will a world where Republicans will, for hardly any reason at all, insist that the current president is going to ban hamburgers because of cow farts, and I'll show you a world where the former president still thinks maybe he could have won that last election, and there's a bunch of ninjas in Arizona trying to prove him right. 

The Twilight Zone? Sadly, no. This is America, a country internally divided because people are looking at two different realities, one that exists in the material world, where germ theory and evolution and a round planet are kind of understood to be real things, where democracy is the thing where people get to vote and where the widely available public historical facts pretty much indicate that slavery and segregation and all that were bad and racist, and um, the other one that Republicans seem to be living in. 

You know, the one where kids (who aren't getting vaccinated right now) wearing masks might be a sign of child abuse (is it just me who sees a Q shout-out in one of Tucker Carlson's latest rhetorical abominations, or is my brain just uniquely broken by trying to rappel down the Q rabbit hole on a digital shoestring?) and where Kamala Harris' book is being stuffed in welcome bags to the migrant kids that are, one who was a certain kind of person might insinuate were invited into the US by Biden's policies already in a sort of replacement theory way except yeah, totally hinting at it in that way, also, too. Because criminy, I have heard of people inviting migrants to the US to swell voting rolls in a particular way, but I didn't think any asshole would be so cynical as to also assume it was to plump book sales.

I mean, there's conspiratorial thinking muscle, and then there's conspiratorial thinking muscle on steroids. And with plenty of red meat for protein. 

I've been saying this sort of thing for more than a minute, but I'm developing the conclusion that additional conspiratorial thinking on the right is increasingly a kind of vice-signaling thing. You know, like where if the CDC says masks are good, then fuck no! I'm not wearing them, and if Michelle Obama wants my kid eating vegetables, then fuck no! they are eating hot chips and sprinkling extra salt on, and if the libs want clean air fuck no! we're buying the biggest truck possible and maybe even rolling coal, and if...etc. Like when cigarettes were bad so Rush Limbaugh sucked on cigars until he got cancer and died.

I'm saying it's not a perfect system, but I kind of get it. They're so punk they're Pat Boone. They're so metal they're formica. They're so edgy they're a Nerf football with the ends chewed off. They are different and not made like other men. They eat red meat. They have mad guns. 

They have mad guns specifically because somebody might take them . Robbers are totally going to come to this house to take guns because guns are expensive and this is a totally fucking expensive pile o guns. It's like people deciding they are going to give up and go be racists now because the libs made them that mad by saying stuff like, I dunno, racism actually exists. 

Basically, we're at a point in Cleek's Law where pointing out that the shit's fucked up might actually lead to Republicans actually eating shit. 

I don't know if it behooves me to respect that level of commitment or not but I'll watch it on YouTube. Because I guarandamntee the signifiers will be filming themselves doing it, since they chug milk, bleach and Trump's vomit right out in public where people can see.

Saying Trump won is a kind of vice-signaling--it isn't true, but Republicans will say it anyway. Calling right-wingers hypocrites doesn't work because the double-standard is the point. Just call them filthy fucking liars who believe dumb ass stupid shit. Respect is earned and they want a cookie for filling their diapers and painting the walls with their mess. I'm over it.