View From an Ohio Bunker

 

I've been following the Ohio Republican Senate primary with interest because it really feels like a dance-off between two jerks with no rhythm. J.D. Vance is an appalling try-hard, no question, what with tut-tutting the child-free and musing over the ridonk boss Tweets Trump would make in the wake of an actually human person being tragically killed in an accident with liberal Alec Baldwin involved. Because of course, Trump is known for making comments that aren't at all disrespectful, unkind, or outright hurtful. (I mean wait--he is: why do we need that right now, exactly? While people are actually shocked and grieving? To own libs? Or because the faithful need callouses to build up over their human-feeling parts so they can sink still further into deplorability?) 

But Josh Mandel is a special little culture warrior, and from his bunker (under, I presume, freedom's anti-vax cornfield) is suggesting libs (they!) hate "normal Americans" for eating meat (my husband is a meat cutter--I learned that vegetarianism interfered with my drinking so I had to give it up), having babies, guns (I just recommend keeping the babies and the guns in separate spaces is all, we have guns) and for some weird reason, hashtag bitcoin. 

Oh man, I really hate hashtag bitcoin. It's the woooooorst. Hyping assorted forms of funny money that real people invest actual money in feels like a really grifty economics LARP to me. But I see Mandel is committing to his bit, and his bytes. 

Why Would a A Sniper Wear Diapers in the Woods?

I know I've got basically no survivalist know-how at all--for me, "roughing it" means the local restaurants only have watery domestic beers on tap. But I am definitely puzzled by this news regarding the survivalist/cop shooter at large in the Pennsylvania woods:

The search has yielded an empty pack of Serbian cigarettes, Bivens said. Frein claims to have fought with Serbians in Africa and has studied Russian and Serbian languages, according to the FBI, which last week named him one of its 10 Most Wanted fugitives. Soiled adult diapers were also found, perhaps used by Frein to stay in a stationary position for long periods of time.

Yes, I can read "stay in a stationary position for long periods of time."  But he does have to stop, drop and take care of hygienic business with whatever is handy (I dunno, foliage?) when things get extra squidgy down there, which I am sure is even more jacked up than it would be if, being in the woods, he just did as the bears do. That's sure to slow him up.  And in the meantime, he's kind of leaving a trail.  And no doubt has a not-so-fresh feeling.

I think he's liable to get a rash.