Friday, September 26, 2014

Why Would a A Sniper Wear Diapers in the Woods?

I know I've got basically no survivalist know-how at all--for me, "roughing it" means the local restaurants only have watery domestic beers on tap. But I am definitely puzzled by this news regarding the survivalist/cop shooter at large in the Pennsylvania woods:

The search has yielded an empty pack of Serbian cigarettes, Bivens said. Frein claims to have fought with Serbians in Africa and has studied Russian and Serbian languages, according to the FBI, which last week named him one of its 10 Most Wanted fugitives. Soiled adult diapers were also found, perhaps used by Frein to stay in a stationary position for long periods of time.

Yes, I can read "stay in a stationary position for long periods of time."  But he does have to stop, drop and take care of hygienic business with whatever is handy (I dunno, foliage?) when things get extra squidgy down there, which I am sure is even more jacked up than it would be if, being in the woods, he just did as the bears do. That's sure to slow him up.  And in the meantime, he's kind of leaving a trail.  And no doubt has a not-so-fresh feeling.

I think he's liable to get a rash.

2 comments:

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

It does sound pretty weird. I wonder if the media is trying to make him out to be even more ridiculous than he is.

Vixen Strangely said...

The "Diaper Sniper" designation has that kind of memorable, rhyming schoolyard taunt ring to it, doesn't it? It's catchy and goofy at the same time.

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