Trump World Grab-Bag--A Collection

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Jeb Bush and Exclamation Point to Part Ways

The candidate and his punctuation mark in happier times.
On word that a split had occurred between 2016 Presidential candidate Jeb Bush and the iconic exclamation point that served in not one, but two campaign logos, the crack political team at Strangely Blogged  sought to set the story straight. Now, we don't actually have the kind of access to check this with Jeb(punctuation mark to be named later), but our editor is on pretty good terms with Exclamation Point, who graciously gave us a short interview. (Exclamation Point steers away from interrogatives, but have you ever interviewed Question Mark? A riddle wrapped in an enigma.)

VS: Exclamation Point, thanks for the interview. Now, we've had news that Jeb Bush is abandoning his previous campaign logo...

EP: No! Not at all! First, call me EP--look, this was a very amicable split, and I don't feel like this logo was "abandoned" in the least. As you know, Jeb Bush and I worked together back in '94.

VS: When he failed to unseat incumbent FL Gov. Lawton Chiles.

EP: Right, right. Well, we lost that one, but it was a good fight, and if there were any hard feelings, he wouldn't used me again this time around--but to be honest, the split is mutual.

VS: You parted with Jeb Bush?

EP: Well, when Bush said that he hated being a front-runner, I realized I had better start putting out some feelers. Because he hasn't been one...

VS: So, what's ahead for you, EP?

EP: Well, there is literally always work for a punctuation mark in this business. Everybody gets work. Parentheses. Semi-colons. Ellipses... You know, Pound Sign used to do a little phone work, but when she changed her name to Hashtag, she reinvented herself for the internet age.

VS: Bush has been trying to make something work with Hashtag.

EP: Yeah. She's popular. (Distractedly.) And of course Ben Carson is looking to shake things up--so there could be a place for an Exclamation Point in there.

VS: So, no hard feelings then?

EP: Not at all. And you know, there's always the private sector for me--I mean, whenever a fast food chain wants to convince customers that their salads are just as tasty and filling as their double patty bacon cheeseburger--who do they call?

VS: You?

EP: I make up in the appearance of sincerity what I lack in honesty! Say, you don't have Ted Cruz's number?

VS: Sorry, no. Thanks, EP.

After following three letters for much of this campaign, it looks like Exclamation Point still has plenty to say!

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