There's Something Wrong With Rudy Giuliani

I don't think former NYC Mayor Rudy Giuliani has been looking very good lately. It's just this thing, you know? He has a history with poor health that might be affecting him...

Yeah, I'm not going to continue with that--he's a cancer survivor, and I am respectful of his journey with that. It's just that this is probably the reason I think that what he's doing regarding spreading the long-simmering conspiracy theory that there's something wrong with Hillary Clinton is really gross and wrong. There's recent evidence that there isn't any damn thing wrong with Hillary Clinton's mental acuity.  She just won the Democratic primary against a pretty popular challenger, for crying out loud. But Giuliani wants to make a claim citing internet rumors?

It's disgracefully low of him, isn't it? I'm not saying that we should expect better of him. But I do think that this particular line of attack on Clinton might be signaling that Donald Trump has no intention of debating Clinton. Not any. Because why in the hell would you telegraph that your opponent is soft in the head going into a debate where she is likely to clean his clock like her shingle read "Clinton's Clock Cleaning"?

No. No, that doesn't seem especially likely to me. Which makes Team Trump not just liars, but cowards or...lacking the foresight you might expect anyone with a functioning forebrain to have.

Presidential Hurdles as Olympic Sport

You know, there is something extraordinary about "Seddique Mateen sits behind Hillary Clinton" and "Trump talks about Seddique Mateen while Mark Foley sits behind him" which simply borders on the pathological.  The actually "story" would sound pretty much like "private citizen attends public event, news at eleven", except the "news at eleven" part isn't even really necessary. Is there some particular fact-based reason that Hillary Clinton would be a jihadi sympathizer in the real world where the humans live?

And as for Mark Foley's support--does that mean Trump is pro-creep? Are we actually giving credence to the idea that the only charitable contributions anyone has been able to find for Mr. Trump are for NAMBLA?  (Check it--we might have associations pointing to opposite-sex hebephilia, but any rumors regarding anything else are obviously without ground. I am a responsible muckraker, I am!)  Pshaw! Who in the world is such a credulous fuckwit as to base where they stand politically on stuff they just randomly "hear"?

Look folks, August is going to be a very long month if every stupid thing that "might" be a thing is treated with slavering excitement. Both appearances mean very little. It would be neat if regular political journos didn't go all National Enquirer, hm? (Which Trump says is a great newspaper, deserves a Pulitzer, the best...)

The Trump Problem 4: Who is this guy?

The revelation that Donald Trump posed under the pseudonyms "John Miller" and "John Barron" to plant stories about himself this past week are weird, right? Like, who brags about their love life to news outlets under an assumed name to build up their reputation as a "player"? Take this sort of thing:

“Actresses,” Miller said in the call to Carswell, “just call to see if they can go out with him and things.” Madonna “wanted to go out with him.” And Trump’s alter ego boasted that in addition to living with Maples, Trump had “three other girlfriends.”

Miller was consistent about referring to Trump as “he,” but at one point, when asked how important Bruni was in Trump’s busy love life, the spokesman said, “I think it’s somebody that — you know, she’s beautiful. I saw her once, quickly, and beautiful . . . ” and then he quickly pivoted back into talking about Trump — then a 44-year-old father of three — in the third person.

That's weird. (For what it's worth, Bruni considered him a "lunatic". Which is just as well--not all women think he's especially great. ) But perhaps his attempts to appear like a playboy were just brand-building. That he also used one of his aliases to try to cheat workers is a bit more disturbing.

Which leads me to my point--he's famous as hell, but he doesn't need fake names to make you wonder who the heck he is. Take his self-declared net worth-- TEN BILLION DOLLARS. Sounds great, right? One of his selling points in his campaign has been he's able to be self-funded. Well, no. His cageyness about his tax returns has prompted some to take a closer read of what his public financial information reveals--a topic which has been previously disputed. But there's enough out there to make one really wonder--does he think people are stupid? Maybe a lot of people don't pay attention to policy details, but who a person is, matters.

And he is, after all, now a person who has told us one week that he would do everything he said he was going to do, but now indicates what he has said is all just "suggestions".

C'mon. Who is this guy?

A Pork Couplet

He placed his member in the swine and chuckled with delight;
the roast ones aren't lively, but they never, ever bite.

(I know. For all I know the story is both sick and specious. And yet here we are.)

Seriously? They've got dick jokes?

This weekend's blogular distraction comes from Breitbart and his goofy gang of pranksters:

So, what seems to have happened is a picture of an erection ensconced in a pair of drawers was uploaded to something called Yfrog and then Tweeted, apparently from Rep. Anthony Weiner's account and supposedly to one of his Twitter followers.  Yes....seems.  The picture was then seized upon by an apparently clairvoyant Teahadist and linked to Big Government. For a minute, the story was all about why wasn't the congressman making a legal case out of the apparent hack--well, now he is. Which I would like to think means that if this was a set-up (ahem...if...ahem) some jack-ass feels some repercussions.

So, to recap, a US Rep. seems to have been spoofed in a childish way, an innocent Twitter-user has been harassed by jerks, and you can't believe everything you read on the Internet--although we kind of knew that last bit. Also, really, going after Rep. Weiner? Is it because he regularly tells it like is it in moments like this? Or on the Clarence Thomas conflict-of-interest issue? (More of that sort of thing, and I'll be calling him my boyfriend, too. Y'know, just like George Clooney & Keith Olbermann. As if.)

I dunno. I'm still wondering whose vanilla, laundered-shorted crotch-shot that really is. But then, I'm just a speculative old thing, really. Easily distracted, you know.  (But really--"Weiner?" A dick joke? On the order of trying too hard! Huh huh huh, I said, "hard".)