Eating Babies is Not Okay

President Trump attacked Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez after a speaker at her town hall went on a bizarre rant about how eating babies is the only solution to the climate crisis.

Turns out, the stunt was staged by a pro-Trump conspiracy group.https://t.co/24aaLyVlxL

— BuzzFeed News (@BuzzFeedNews) October 4, 2019

There's several shades of fucking whacko going on here, not the least because RW media seemed to have taken this episode to infer the environmental lefties are just fine with the idea of people eating babies. Like, what? People pretty naturally go quiet when someone around them says really screwed up things because you never know when they might set off a batshit bomb and get some on you. That silence definitely does not signify consent to a program involving soylent green infant formula--made from real infants!

LaRouchies are a bit of a weird group, and their claim that their anti-environmentalism hoax is a take-off on Jonathan Swift's A Modest Proposal sits a bit poorly with me. The 1729 proposal was intended as a dig at the exploiters who already took so much from impoverished people that what was left but blood? The anti-environmentalists' take doesn't point a finger at exploitation, so much as revel in it. It seems to exist in a cosmos where human life isn't already considered cheap by those who continue to pollute our planet.

But there's also something darker, there. The anti-choice right wing has recently made up and promoted a terrific lie regarding the compassionate care of neonates with poor survival prognoses, referring to it as a form of abortion. This kind of lie holds within it echoes of the monstrous "baby parts" hoax that influenced the mass shooter Robert Dear. (This has blossomed into aspects of the anti-vax movement, which alleges that vaccines are bad because they contain baby parts, and the even funkier idea that baby parts are used in food additives.)

But for the folding of the satirical concept of eating babies lifted from Swift and whipped into frothing nightmare fuel, you've got your guano-brains du jour, Q-Anon, serving up heaping helpings of adrenochrome. This is, apparently, the scared-child sauce that elite liberals have been drinking to stay looking so amazeballs and vigorous. It's basically Pizzagate with a vampire twist, and has its origins in one of the oldest and most bigoted conspiracy theories (which has killed countless innocent people) on the books--the Blood Libel.

It's batshit with a pedigree. Call the group you wish to destroy "child murderers"--say they eat babies--and watch it excite the part of the brain that wants to, quite rightly, desperately protect their young. Unleash the meme on people who already dislike this group. Watch as the people exposed to said unfounded slander decide that the claim is too grave to further investigate and action must be taken at once.

I'm not sure how this sort of bullshit is supposed to still be working in 2019, but here we are. As for me, I think eating human babies is horrendous. They have no muscle tone and their diets are grotesquely bland. The meat is fatty and without flavor. Children are best eaten at about the age of ten. They have active bodies and are not yet pubescent. Puberty hormones makes the meat far too gamy and unpleasant. And yes, I am joking. Who even owns such large cookware these days? It's nonsense, and the people who push these things in all seriousness should be laughed into obscurity.