Lady Doritos is a Weird Thing

The idea that Doritos is thinking about making a "crunchless" version just for the ladies is kind of amazing. Instead of recognizing that women also need to make noise when eating a crispy product, and using marketing dollars to normalize or empower women to eat noisily if that is even a thing that needs doing, the marketing folks think maybe there should be a Dorito flavorful enough for a man, but made for a woman. And that product shall have no crunch.

Experiencing our crunch seems to me to be what feminism is about. If we want to have a crunchless experience, we can have yogurt and cottage cheese. We can have oatmeal and cream of wheat. But what if the sound of one mouth crunching was our satori? What if the extreme flavor of salsa rio or cool ranch was the flavor of our feminism? What if to never crunch was to take a step back in our snackular liberation? 

I say that the sound of one woman snacking is a bell of liberty for any woman to eat and be nourished, to receive comfort from food and take up that space. I will not be crunchless in the hope of people thinking I was snackless. I will, Jay Leno-like, brandish my snacks aloft and be seen and heard. Because I am woman, hear me eat. I am strong. I am consumerable. I am chip-eating.