Sunday, May 25, 2014

Men Who Hate Women



There is something that is real hard-going about watching this video of Elliot Rodgers, who killed six other people besides himself all, apparently, due to his hatred of women. This is a person with delusions of grandeur about his "nice guy", "good catch" qualities, and a palpable hatred of women, that he feels are rejecting him because they are some kind of evil bitches--and not because there is something about him that happens to be be screaming "potential really bad guy".

It's hard to watch, because even if you can write this killer of people off as very obviously not right in his mind, he is saying things that people on YouTube comments, on Reddit, on pretty much any social forum, have basically tried to say--shouldn't women be dead if they don't submit to men?  Aren't they there to give their bodies up for sex and reproduction? What other point than their biology do they even have?

So something like this:

Isn't necessarily worrying to that many people. It is not a warning sign that he doesn't see women as people that he doesn't think they really should decide who to have sex with.

When feminists talk about "rape culture", this is pretty much the worst-case scenario guy. He believes he is so entitled to women's bodies that they should die if they don't submit. When the truth of the matter is, this is the very last person any thinking woman would want in her bed, because he specifically does not see her as a person to respect and work with and more germane to all of our concerns--not harm. Men are often stronger than we are physically. We very much do try to shield ourselves from harm. Not all men harm women--this so true that not one of us who has a lover, husband, brother, or father who has been by our side in a crisis needs to be told, but there is also not one of us who does not know a woman who was harmed by a man. We all do. We have all heard stories of friends or sisters or mothers who were brutalized. And many of us have been victims or nearly victims ourselves.We have all the evidence we could ever want of this image of men who just seem to hate women. He is not alone in the world of men who hate women. He even found a community, whilst he was alive, where his hatred of us could be expressed. He could even envision concentration camps of women being starved to death, while a handful were retained for reproduction.



And the reaction of some MRA's or PUA's to his act and the very shocked and I think reasonable dismay of women about this multiple murder?


Because, obviously, it was all these bitches' faults for rejecting a man because if they weren't a pussy with feet, what in the world were they? And there really are some men in the world who don't get the big picture that we are people until they have a wife or daughter of their own, and I guess some never do.  And then they might maybe be concerned about what happens to "their women".

When I was about five or six, my dad taught me where to hit a man to make him bleed or incapacitate him. He's an ex-Marine, 6'3", and I think it weighed heavily on him that he had a daughter who might not be able to always defend herself in the world he knew. I understood at a very early age that I might have to defend myself, sometimes, but it wasn't until I hit puberty a little early that I totally understood from what or why. But I learned.

And we all do. There are men you don't want to share a room or an elevator with. That you wouldn't accept a drink or a date from. That touch you even if you flinch away or who make eye contact with you just a little too long. That let you know what they think of you in some physical and subtle way. And Elliot Rodgers didn't know he was one of those guys. The ones whose aspect we just shy away from. The kind of guy who might just, you know. Be thinking about kidnapping us and flaying off our skin, or at the very least, shooting us down like rabbits. He was shot down by women and thought the unifying thing was them being women--not him being him.

Because no, no, no, a hundred times no, we don't think it's all men. No we don't. My father is a an amazing sensitive man who taught me I might even have to kill another human being because I might be raped or beaten at some time in my life. My husband is an amazing thoughtful man who understands why I sometimes flinch when he raises his voice--and knows why I associate anger with pain.

Elliot Rodgers probably gave off every single sign, handsome, rich, smart, beamer, aside, that he was maybe a catch, but then there was this other thing, every woman looks for, and in him, everyone saw. And you know what? He proved every woman who rejected him exactly right. Brava, ladies. He was exactly what you thought, and no one is to blame for not ever thinking this piece of crap was worth the time of day--even if there is anyone out there who thinks he might have been--

And if he was a poor, poor, unfuckable boy before, I'm very sorry, but his killing women because he was so mad pretty much confirms his unfuckability. And very much confirms why we shouldn't feel sorry for him now--had he ever talked to women? Did he know even stuck up blond "bitches" are people? Did he think sorority girls had lives, rights, families, hopes, dreams, and they didn't have any responsibility to include him in them?

What I feel bad for is the world that saw this hate--and never recognized it for the real danger it was because hatred of women is almost normal until he eventually acted on it. I'm not even arsed to call out guns on this one, or how a very damaged-seeming person got hold of same. How in the hell did his misogyny seem normal? How did he snow the cops last month when they did a mental heath check in?

I wonder if hating women is so normalized that his kind of hate was just--a fantasy, nothing to worry about. Do we seriously live in a world where threats against women are so commonplace we don't assume they will be carried out?

Elliot Rodgers' act is heinous enough to make one very introspective--and no, that's not to his credit at all. One wonders just what level of woman-hate makes anyone take notice. How very horrible  does it need to be? I think any level should be taken seriously, and that things like Domestic Violence, for example, need to be seen as disqualifying to own guns.

Yeah I know--this guy didn't have a family he abused. But I cringe at the idea that anyone thinks some guy isn't a risk for violence because his only past counts were against his families' women....another terrible sign.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is a great read. I won't list the things I liked -- so much of it is common sense (for people with "eyes that see"). "Masculinity" in 21st century America has become degenerate and pathological. (Yes, I'm a male.)

S-Curve said...

This is very well said. From what I've read about this man, he never even spoke to a woman. He just expected women he found attractive to walk up and present their bodies to him. So even the "rejection" or "sexually frustrated" (as KTLA called him) lines, as perverse and toxic as they are, are not right.

Melissia said...

If this raving, murderous misogynist, who fantasized about killing off the majority of women and turning the rest in to gang-rape victims whose only purpose for was for breeding, is a "nice guy", who the fuck needs nice guys?

Headless Unicorn Guy said...

... he is saying things that people on YouTube comments, on Reddit, on pretty much any social forum, have basically tried to say--shouldn't women be dead if they don't submit to men?

"Don't submit to men" or "don't submit to MEEEEEEEEEEEE"?

This is a guy whose entire Cosmos had room only for Himself -- and "What I Want". A Hollywood Highborn with a sense of entitlement somewhere between Caligula, Commodus, and Kim Jong-whatever. King Joffrey from Game of Thrones without an Iron Throne to sit on.

S-Curve: Friend of mine said pretty much the same thing.

Melissia: This surprises you? A sociopathic monster ALWAYS sees Perfection (and/or Innocent Victim) when he looks in the mirror. Had an example within my family. Comes with the territory.

Remember what I said above, how his Cosmos had room only for Himself?

P.S. That's one creepy icon on your comment.

Headless Unicorn Guy said...

And if he was a poor, poor, unfuckable boy before, I'm very sorry, but his killing women because he was so mad pretty much confirms his unfuckability.

Morning drive-time radio broadcast some clips from his video Manifestos. My reactions were:

HIM: Poor Poor Me, I'm a Virgin at 22!

ME: I'm a male virgin at 58 -- GROW UP, FUCKER!

HIM: No woman ever found me attractive, Poor Poor Me...

ME: No woman ever found me attractive, either. You know what I did? I GOT A LIFE. A LIFE THAT DIDN'T DEPEND ON WOMEN FINDING ME ATTRACTIVE.

That friend of mine I mentioned, S-Curve? His response was "If he's so unfuckable and that desperate, why didn't he pay for a hooker to pop his cherry? He sure had the bucks for a high-priced one!"

How in the hell did his misogyny seem normal? How did he snow the cops last month when they did a mental heath check in?

1) If he was active on the Manosphere and PUA sites, he was swimming in a pond where "that level of misogyny" IS normal!

2) As for snowing the cops, sociopaths are masters at camouflaging what they are, especially when they're in danger of exposure. Don't know why he couldn't use that camouflage ability to get laid; maybe his was too specialized and women saw right through it?

Headless Unicorn Guy said...

And the reaction of some MRA's or PUA's to his act and the very shocked and I think reasonable dismay of women about this multiple murder?

I noticed "overgamer13"s icon was a recolored Rainbow Dash -- a MARE. (Last time I checked, mares were female. And Dashie is often a target of bad slashfic -- lezbo slashfic. So what's a PUA doing using such a FEMALE icon?)

The Mystery Machine said...

this is a great post. i am a woman, and its only now at the age of 40 that i am really learning what it means to be a woman in the world, in any world- i have started to pay attention to some larger issues that i denied before. i always grew up believing that women can do anything, always had great female role models, while the men in my life were unstable drunks. nice guys, just not dependable. i have had a number of wonderful boyfriends, i adore men, i have never been raped or assaulted. it was easy for me to go into the world as a person, not as a woman. but the past year i have really started to pay attention to the sort of undercurrent that has always existed in pretty much every culture- this fear, hatred, deep seated angst against women. it almost pains me to say it. most of the men i know would fight in a war for women's rights, would defend any woman against any sort of predator- the sort of guys who drive the drunk girl home safe instead of trying to pounce on her. i guess i have always wanted to focus on THOSE guys- my friends, my family, my loves. but its undeniable to me, that despite this, it is dangerous to be a woman. women and children make up something like 97 percent of the victims of serial murderers. one on 4 women can expect to be raped or molested in their lifetime. honestly, i have to watch movies like "kill bill" to sort of channel some of my aggression about these issues out of my mind so that i don't wind up thinking all men are pigs- because i would fight in my own war to prove those extremists wrong. and that is my fear- extremism. i don't want to turn into some shaven headed politico-lesbian who won't even sit next to a man. but if you really start looking at these things and adding em up, its hard not to get enraged, and you feel you must do something. i know i am rambling a bit, but i really enjoyed this article. i will read more.

The Mystery Machine said...

one more thing, i always think of this passage from james ellroy's autobiography. "He learned some things about murder early on. He learned that men killed with less provocation than women. Men killed because they were drunk, stoned and pissed off. Men killed for money. Men killed because other men made them feel like sissies.
Men killed to impress other men. Men killed so they could talk about it. Men killed because they were weak and lazy. Murder sated their lust of the moment and narrowed down their options to a comprehensible few.
Men killed women for capitulation. The bitch wouldn't give them head or give them her money. The bitch overcooked the steak. The bitch threw a fit when they traded her food stamps for dope. The bitch didn't like them pawing her 12-year-old daughter.
Men did not kill women because they were systematically abused by the female gender. Women killed men because men flicked them over just that rigorously and persistently.
He considered the rule binding. He didn't want the rule to be true. He didn't want to see women as a whole race of victims."