Maybe even a Red Ryder BB Gun.

Via Political Wire, the quote what done sums up it all:

"We're not going to be disrespected, We have to get something out of this. And I don't know what that even is." 

-- Rep. Marlin Stutzman (R-IN), quoted by the Washington Examiner, on the government shutdown.

Shit, dude. What the everliving fuck has Drunk Uncle John even been promising you guys?