TWGB: And the Portions are Too Small!

 

The downtrodden billionaire schlump, Donald Trump, has laid bare his soul to move us to pity and fear (first as tragedy, then as farts) by laying out the paradoxes of his current fate: they are rushing his trial, and he is spending too much time in court; and he is being kept away from all the campaigning he wants to do that he is absolutely not doing on the days he does not have court. 

It is a pity--he is too mad and hurt to fundraise (Trump not ready to take money: UNPOSSIBLE!) but of course, by email his campaign will fundraise off of his legal misfortunes. And they really, really have to, because lawyers are expensive. And he's mad at his lawyers for not being aggressive enough and for delays in the case, even while the aggressiveness he WANTS is causing delays and might not even be the best strategy for him. 

No wonder the bottomlessly energetic Trump (according to the unbiased ramblings of #2 son, Eric) can't stay awake at trial. He's trying to take all the options in the "Choose Your Own Adventure" his life has become. This is why his recent rant sounds like the Woody Allen joke: "The food is terrible and the portions are too small." 

What the hell does he want or expect, really? 

To be dictator. To allow states to monitor women who are pregnant and to make everything more expensive by putting tariffs on everything. Sometimes I wonder if we focus too much on the gigantic shit Trump is as a person and lose sight of what a fucking miserable politician he is policy wise because we just cant't take his utter shit policies as being actual serious things a human would propose in the world we live in. 

They are, though. Dingus Khan wants to be a day-one dictator and you can go look up "Project 2025" to see what all the authoritarian slaverers think would be really keen to have him do, but he really seems like just a clueless weirdo who echoes the last thing someone suggests to him, with only the resentment and ever-present racism and misogyny showing through. (In the way he can't not defame E. Jean Carroll or judges or witnesses or whatever, because he has poor impulse control and isn't masking his dark side the way he used to.) 

It's in part because power is what will save him, he supposes, from the indignities of things like being in the courtroom, being cold, feeling helpless. A lot of people speculated that maybe his 2016 run was a gas--just a profile-raiser for a political talking head future as a media personality. As things wear on, I wonder if he was always looking for the escape into politics to save him from the dirty realities of eventually being fully responsible for his business failings and legal violations. A thousand armed anti-Avalokiteshvara, grabbing all the lifeboats--not to save YOU, peon, but to save himself. 

Now you could argue, isn't what he did to get into office and what he did to stay in office some of the most damning stuff? 

Shit, I said he was desperate, not that he was smart. Plots like his legal strategy, or the DWT pump and dump, are all outsourced to his ever-present barnacles, who can sustain themselves on little and breathe out of their asses underwater in the event he goes down like a dead whale. 

If it wasn't for the schadenfreude, I'd feel a little more badly about how this Oedipus wrecks himself.