TWGB: The Bride at Every Wedding

 

The highlighting of the above screenshot is courtesy this Tweet from Ben Collins, wondering what exactly Trump is doing here. But I'm the idiot who does TrumpWorld Grab-bags, so I know. He's too clever for us, is Trump. He can't scarper. He won't go scuttling away in the dead of night--why no! he's too famous for that! He won't go abseiling down the wall of the tower he will, Rapunzel-like, be held in. Not even if you gave him enough cable.

He's thinking about it though. Does he think Daddy Vladdy has an extraction team ready to escort him to a well-appointed dacha? Because it isn't 55 years ago, and Russia can't even invade neighbors or land spacecraft on the moon like they used to. They tie up loose ends a very different way now. (He's 90. I mean nothing by this. Of course, I don't. Also...) 

What Trump is saying is "poor, poor, pitiful me" because he is far too rich and famous to disappear and that's just an incredible burden. He's too recognizable--what is he to do, shave his head? Wear sweats? Quel dommage, mais no. Even so, he's known from Jibib to Atlantis.  

Maybe Kushner has an in with the Saudis. I understand they can make people disappear. 

Am I being unnecessarily dark? Sigh. I am cutting up the revelations of the soul-baring of a narcissist who wants you to identify with his plight. Usually, it's only in banana republics a former leader needs to fear coming to justice for a planned coup. Usually, it's only in banana republics a leader plans one. He is, as Francis Albert (who didn't care for him, BTW) sang, doing it his way. And oh! the melodrama! 

The billionaire is actually bitching about posting a $200K bond. That's what's up. He has to put up money for a bond (again!) and now, he has a stricter set of guidelines about what he can't post or even repost on his social media in order to fuck up his bond situation. That's where he is. And he knows all his haters are waiting for him to fuck up his bond situation on social media because he honestly created a social media company just so his dramatic ass could hold forth on it. 

A $200K bond. This is a man who doesn't even want to pay his lawyers. This is man who literally lives in country clubs, not a regular house like a regular-ass person. And he thinks "Shit, I can't avoid witness tampering and whatnot on my feed or what even am I?" Because if he isn't always striking out on people who offend him, he thinks he's being a punk. 

So faced with going radio silence when he has to turn himself in like a commoner Thursday, he's grieving. Muh socials! 

Now, the funny old thing is, he's just another narcissist in a whole world of them, because like attracts like (it's alchemy). Roger Stone, who was talking about THE PLAN before folks needed to be talking about the plan, also admitted Trump lost before the last of the Stop the Steal Rallies, which was something he had planned in 2016, too. He never thought Trump won. He was planning on Trump losing and fucking shit up. And he said this in front of cameras because why not? Stone's not "a common earthling". So he chatted up who? Mike Flynn. 

Here's another one. Will Bunch is spot on accurate. And yeah. Steve Bannon and Pete Navarro have admitted to their attempts to steal the election for Trump right in front of cameras too, like confessing was no big, so where's their courthouse/jailhouse sign in? The desire of these angry old men to do selfies whilst federal criming is going to be the near death of them. 

But it takes so long to watch these selfies develop into charges! And if any of them want my sympathies, not when it was my vote, among 81 million, they wanted to steal. So here I am, shitting on Trump's half-assed moment of awareness of the trouble he might be in. 

Because he should have just lost like a man. Just been a whole grown man and took the L.