The Jebbening! of Ron DeSantis

 

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— Secular Talk🎙 (@KyleKulinski) May 25, 2023

You know, I love the sunny optimism of people who want to push the theory that Ron DeSantis will most surely fail because he's a weird fucking glitchy AI trained on Orwell as a handbook and White Christian supremacy as a goal who sort of can't stand like a man who has always had arms and regularly unhinges his mouth when he laughs like he's about to devour a sacrificial goat. I mean, sure, all that is really off-putting, but if one has the backing of enough big money donors and is somehow the largest tool in the shed after the other big tool gets majorly law-hammered (because the conviction of Trump for anything at all and legal removal from the primary pool springs eternal in the minds of those who have engaged in the contest--although they would never, never say something so obvious aloud) who you gonna settle with? 

Mr. Mike Dry-as-Dust Pence, the backstabber? Tim Scott, the obvious VP trainee? And who at all loves disappointing Nikki Haley? 

I sure as hell don't and want to digress to her genuinely mean girl unfunny bullshit today. She said:

"Everybody know about Dylan Mulvaney?” Haley asked. “Bud Light? That is a guy, dressed as a girl, making fun of women.”

This is a transwoman, living as a transwoman every day, which is not a joke. Her life as a transwoman is not a joke. It's a precarity. That this ignorant pick-me bigot tries to use a transwoman as an example of bigotry against ciswomen by invoking teen girl suicidality when trans suicidality is twice the risk of their cis peers is shockingly block-headed. Most people are not severely online and know little about this culture war bullshit, but I want to believe in the deep recess of love I have for humanity, that people would understand that Haley is trying to score points off of a marginalized person who is simply living her best life because she just doesn't have the best politician life points to play in this game as a Trump Administration employee and natural fence straddler. She's running for VP against Tim Scott. They are both blandly awful and won't stop regular folks from noticing Trump is still racist as hell. He'll probably pick a theocrat notable white male out of the ether.

Anyways, back to the DeSantis fail-show. 

Of course, he gravitated to Twitter Launching his candidacy with Elon Musk as the host because he's trying to broadcast being the future of the Republican party because isn't Trump kind of a loser and past it and what not? Real good points, Ron! Trump would say Ron advanced in his political life by hopping on his coat tails while the hopping was good, and that's a point to consider. And what says future like a social media launch with a tech billionaire! Whoo!

Trump is technically himself a tech billionaire. He has his Truth Social, if that counts. And he can very reasonably find this launch funny. (As seen in the Tweet capped above.) He might strain at the reduced supposed reach he has by being exiled to his fledgling Truth Social, but watching Musk's site blow up on the launchpad and DeSantis being a struggle-candidate must give him something to light up his indicted and soon-to-be-more-indicted days. I mean, you gotta have laughs, right? 

And for the rest of us, DeSantis is a truth-impaired second coming of Trumpism as a more wretched form. He's a liar. He is anti-first amendment, anti-LGBTQ, pretty darn racism-tolerant. ANd then there's the thing that niggles at me:

 

An interesting old interview from @DeFede about DeSantis time at gitmo including hunger strikes and force feeding.

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— Alex Thompson (@AlexThomp) May 24, 2023

Treating the suicides of prisoners who refused forced feedings at Gitmo as having used their bodies as a kind of propaganda/terror made a younger me become a much more political me.  They were protesting the violation of their human rights. And it deserved to be publicized. People were indefinitely held at Gitmo without charges and subject to torture in the form of what were called "enhanced interrogation techniques". Like, if you just called torture another name, it became another thing. But words always mean things. 

When DeSantis lets the Orwellian Moms for Liberty astroturf group, allied with white supremacy, Karen their way into book bans and pretends his state, having fucked the first amendment everywhichway but loose hasn't banned books--that's a problem for his "Free State" bullshit. 

And let's talk about his Make America Florida, because isn't that some shit?

Florida--the shape of the landmass known as, just doesn't look like the letter F at all. Also, his motto is already derivative of Trump. I mean: Why keep acknowledging him, right? Do your own thang! It's like admitting to a debt or still trying to scoot onto the coattails of a bolero jacket. Or whatever. Tacky! 

Also too, there is the deep problem of how Florida candidates ever are funded and especially old Ron. I don't know if Proud Boys and Roger Stone engaged in assorted ratfuckery to get him into office, but I know he's ginger about calling out the neo-Nazis running around Florida. And I bet there are skeletons about to get rustled when he run up to Trump because his Rolodex is not as deep. 

Do I care who is the general election candidate for the GOP in 2024? I care that they lose. I like Ron's odds of losing. I am rooting for Trump to get a comeuppance. 

Anyway, DeSantis is about to get Jebbed! so hard it's not even funny.

UPDATE: I totally neglected to add when DeSantis came up here to try and suggest Pennsylvania become the Florida of the North by supporting Doug Mastriano, we said HELL NO. Because that shit is crazy.