Climate Monday: Climate Change is Basically a Total Buzzkill

Climate change threatens to be the real reason we can't have nice things. For one thing, it's going to affect wine production:

Bid adieu to Bordeaux, but also, quite possibly, a hello to Chateau Yellowstone. Researchers predict a two-thirds fall in production in the world's premier wine regions because of climate change. 

The study forecasts sharp declines in wine production from Bordeaux and Rhone regions in France, Tuscany in Italy and Napa Valley in California and Chile by 2050, as a warming climate makes it harder to grow grapes in traditional wine country. 

But also anticipate a big push into areas once considered unsuitable. That could mean more grape varieties from northern Europe, including Britain, the US north-west and the hills of central China. 

"The fact is that climate change will lead to a huge shakeup in the geographic distribution of wine production," said Lee Hannah, a senior scientist at Conservation International and an author of the study.

It may also be responsible for oyster herpes:

 Add to the list of potential negative side effects of global warming the spread of oyster herpes. Researchers have discovered a new strain of the virus that only manifests itself when water temperatures hit 61 degrees Farenheit, according to National Geographic.
The new strain, named Ostreid herpesvirus 1 (OsHV-1) μvar (mew-var), was first detected in 2008 among breeding Pacific oysters in France. Since then, the virus has wiped out 20 to 100 percent of oysters in the French beds, and this year it appears to have spread to the United Kingdom.

The reason for the emergence of herpes in oyster beds across Europe is a mystery, but many researchers see a correlation with global warming. The virus remains dormant when its hosts are in colder waters, so the disease is expected to spread as waters continue to warm worldwide.

Yeah. Oyster herpes.

Let's not even go into what it will do for coffee production and chocolate. Basically, I just want people to stop whenever they hear "climate change" and think "oyster herpes". Because it isn't just a pretty f'd up band name--it's kind of the weird shit we can look forward to as our environment changes.

(Sorry about "Climate Sunday" being pushed back two weeks in a row, but work has me wiped out and I've been posting a bit less in general. This will surely be sorted out if I get picked for jury duty tomorrow--no worries!)