So I can't help but boggle at the misguided efforts of some tea-party fools trying to make mischief against regular people on behalf of Big Government aligned with Corporate Backing. That just makes no sense.
But on to the funny crank call, because finally--there's something I have to comment on.
So, an editor from the Buffalo Beast, got the idea to pose as probable corporate puppeteer David Koch to try and get through to Gov. Scott Walker. This is the funniest shit I have heard in like, forever. I will link the transcript--um, here. Some of this is priceless. Example:
Walker: …I think the paycheck will have an impact…secondly, one of the things we’re looking at next…we’re still waiting on an opinion to see if the unions have been paying to put these guys up out of state. We think there’s at minimum an ethics violation if not an outright felony.
Koch: Well, they’re probably putting hobos in suits.
Walker: Yeah.That he didn't twig this was a phony right there is a challenge to my urinary continence. Rolling on floor. Check. Finding that the notion that the Koch Brothers dress up homeless people to do odd jobs doesn't make the governor suspicious that this is some whatthefuckery--priceless.
Koch: That’s what we do. Sometimes.
Walker: …I’ve got layoff notices ready…So, the governor really wants to lay off working people from their jobs which would make them unemployed just to make the Democrats do what he wants, because it really is all about crushing that union. And he's really happy to describe having a nice baseball bat to use, because that is very...er....macho. I think.
Koch: Beautiful; beautiful. Gotta crush that union.
Walker: [bragging about how he doesn't budge]…I would be willing to sit down and talk to him, the assembly Democrat leader, plus the other two Republican leaders—talk, not negotiate and listen to what they have to say if they will in turn—but I’ll only do it if all 14 of them will come back and sit down in the state assembly…legally, we believe, once they’ve gone into session, they don’t physically have to be there. If they’re actually in session for that day, and they take a recess, the 19 Senate Republicans could then go into action and they’d have quorum…so we’re double checking that. If you heard I was going to talk to them that’s the only reason why. We’d only do it if they came back to the capital with all 14 of them…
Koch: Bring a baseball bat. That’s what I’d do.
Walker: I have one in my office; you’d be happy with that. I have a slugger with my name on it.
The whole thing is laughable and damning. The purported "David Koch" got access and got to say bizarre things because money gets people access, and lets them get away with saying bizarre things. But regular people just trying to make their voices heard aren't even a blip on this arrogant jerk's radar, and that is what I think this prank made all too clear. It's one thing to set oneself up as "fiscally conservative". It's another to look like a panderer to the moneyed interests at the expense of the people of one's own state--and make no mistake, this governor's choices are going to effect the state negatively down the line. But in the meanwhile, his own ethics have been called into question.
A very "practical" joke, indeed!